Thursday, March 1, 2012

Five For Friday

I got a roommate to help with the bills.  Her name is Yentl (yentle).  She's 26, a RM from CA, who served in the Philippines and has been home for a few years.  She's working and going to school here at the College of Southern Idaho, CSI for short.  She likes dogs and Coco loves her and when I'm gone Parker will jump on her bed to be with her.  She is gone a lot and I'm gone a lot, but we talk daily and things are good, especially financially.

I've been making these lately. I went and bought a pack of100 sheets of origami paper at Freddy's and have made about 20, giving them as gifts.  I don't think I'll get into other origami unless it's useful.  These are bookmarks. You open up the end of the heart and place the triangle on the corner of the page.  I learned how with this video.  I had to watch it 5 or 6 times to get the whole process down, but now I don't need it.

Remember this post about my ink mishap.  Twice printer ink was spilled all over my hand and once on my pink pajamas.  I got another ink cartridge and let it sit, in the packaging for 3 days before I had the guts to open it up.  But even in the plastic covering it had spilled out.  I was done with that shop, but not before I went and got my money back.  I explained what the problem was- that they had the wrong guard on it.  There's had a full length guard on it on the WRONG side that needed it. They insisted that was not the problem. I didn't argue.  Then I went to Wallmart and got the exact brand of ink as the printer for two dollars less and didn't cause any spills.  The difference was this little piece put on the right place. 

It reminds me of this scripture and printable that I found on line. 

Remember this post about books for 2012?  Well, It's not happening.  Here I am in march and neither of the books have been cracked, although I continue to work on Elder Bednar's book.

I thought I wrote one about my anti new years resolutions, but I can't find it.  I had a word:  HOPE,  I had miracles I was going to pray for: 1. temple marriage, 2. babies,  3. Family members to come back to the gospel and 4. financial relief.

The truth of the matter is I'm a slacker. The prayers lasted for a while and sometimes they still pop up. I for sure worry about # 1,2 and 4, but sometimes I still wonder what I should pray for.  Here's some thoughts: What should I do with my life?  What should I become (I need a new career)?  Should I even worry about marriage or babies? What does HEAVENLY FATHER want me to do with my life?   I still struggle with reading the scriptures at night and praying. I should remember all the scripture quotes I 'pin', but I don't because I'm not in them as much.  When I am in the scriptures my outlook is better.

Last night I read a few blog posts from C Jane Enjoy It about divorce, infertility, and depression. I posted some quotes of what I liked on my quote blog.   Before I turned out the lights I got my March 2012 Ensign and reviewed this article about moving on and moving forward that I love and have marked and then I read the VT message.    I started to feel again that "you are less than" feeling, that my testimony isn't as strong as it used to be, that I'm not as valuable a sister as others or as I used to be.  When I  turned off the light I cried.  I don't do that as much anymore, but sometimes I feel like that.

I think I felt it this past week more as the possibility of loosing my job came on Monday night.  I got overly involved with a clients life and her now ex-boy friend and the mom didn't appreciate me going to get his cat back, so she fired me.  Which means I had to call the boss and tell him.  This would be the 3 strikes your out possibility.  The first two were over falling asleep and being late and falling asleep and a few other minor problems.  My boss is LDS, he has been a bishop and I hate that I wowed them in the interview, but now it's been disappointment after disappointment.  What will I do?  Where can I get a job that makes as much money as I do now?  I got my taxes back.  I so don't want to use it to survive, but to pay off bills!   I still don't know if it's for real yet. I've let a few people know it's a possibility and I may not be coming back on Monday, but I may get off by the skin of my teeth.  But I just hate knowing that people do not think I'm worth it or they are humoring me until that last shoe finally falls. 

I went to a SA conference in Boise last weekend.  My first sense my singleness.  I cried on the way there, but was happy on the way home.  I got a few free meals,  met some nice people and went to 3 really good workshops and a really fun dance.  I danced like I used to.  Like I know what I'm doing, like I have confidence, like I'm attractive.  I wasn't worried about my body.  I had women compliment me on my blouse and a man ask me for my phone number.  While nothing will happen- he's to old, from Peru and has grand children, it was nice to dance and I  felt comfortable taking to him.  I was open and honest about my marriage with others and they were about theirs.  I'm one of that group now, one of the divorcees- which is yucky, but it's the truth.  But I understand more about marriage and what it takes to make it work and I can understand why others have left and I understand what people are talking about now in so many areas.

This is the cool LDS church the conference was in. 
And so my life goes on.


Christy Jones said...

I am glad things are going better financially since you got a roommate. I hope it works out with your job. You have been through so much lately! The lord is blessing you right now so much, I know sometimes life doesn't work out as planned but its Gods way and he knows what is best! ((HUGS))

Heather@Women in the Scriptures said...

I love those bookmarks! What a nice simple gift to give out. And Yeah for dancing like you use to! I can always tell how I am doing spiritually by how it affects my dancing... there is something really healing in letting your body and spirit come together without worrying what it looks like.