Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Inspiring Lives

There are some amazing women out there who have lead incredible lives and also write uplifting blogs.  You should know about them.

1. Heather at Women in the Scriptures, (never met in person) who is a co-author of a book: the gift of giving life, presenter at a holistic conference, mother of 3. http://womeninthescriptures.blogspot.com/

2. Laurel at Just Around this Corner, my mission companion, VP of something at Deseret Book, produced Time Out for Women, not-married (yet), speaker at girls camps, friend to many, and funny!  http://justaroundthiscorner.blogspot.com/

3. Megan, my cousin who I rarely saw growing up and as adults, but who I've gotten to know due to her blog.  She's the mother of 5, two twin girls on the other side of the veil, 2 boys here now, one through adoption, one through birth and one little girl in the tummy!  http://marcandmegan.blogspot.com/

4. Jennifer, who I met only once, who is a single mom to 4 boys, who works 5 jobs, is fun, a fashionista,  and a talented writer- even on her Facebook posts.  http://theboysquad.blogspot.com/

5. Jocelyn, who I've never met in person, journalist, mother of 3,expecting baby #4, champion of The Book of Mormon, The Proclamation on the family, and bringing the spirit into her home.  http://beinglds.blogspot.com/

6. Shannon, who also I've never met, new mom, skin cancer survivor, publisher of scripture study journals and the like, paid seminary teacher for over 10 years, very visual learner, owner of an ice cream store, home decorator.  http://www.theredheadedhostess.com/

7. Michaela, lover of the scriptures, thinker extraordinaire, writer of 2 on line books, one for teens about things they can learn from Isaiah, and one about the things the Savior has said that are puzzling. Also never met in person.  http://scriptoriumblogorium.blogspot.com/

I was going to stop at the first 4, but more kept coming to me. There are so many great women out there, I hope you stop by and learn from them. Although they have different lives, they have the same thing in common; they are righteous, praying, commandment keeping, trusting in the Lord, Spirit seeking women.  I would do well to live more like them.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

a group of men

So besides Mr. 64, who called me on Friday to ask if I had found a ward to go to and work HIS plan there have been others:

I chatted on line with a man in Tennessee through LDS Mid-singles of the world FB group. He flirted quite a bit and is almost, in Sept 34 and is quite anxious to talk to me, etc.  There are no girls for him to ask out and he is desperate.

Then there is a non-member military guy I think 32- I don't know where he lives.  All of this in less than 1 week.

I finally feel mostly comfortable (except situation like Mr. 64) being friends with men, handling myself in a dating situation.  Too bad it took this long and I couldn't figure it out when I was in my 20's, but oh well.  I can turn back the clock.  It's funny because I have been thinking about temple marriage lately.  At times when I feel the spirit I think of it and when I'm in the car alone. I would like a true companion. However one thing I think about too is a mans sex drive.  I really don't want to deal with that all the time.

I hope to find some one good, really good, someone who wants kids, loves the scriptures, who knows the gospel, loves animals too, because that is big for me, has a good job who can support me, not just financially but emotionally, wants me to develop my talents and do things I enjoy, who knows what it means to lead, and honor his priesthood.  Someone who is trying to be the best he can be, not make excuses for behavior.  I want to do those things too, to become those things.

As for the SA program here, another person who has lived other places besides here says that it THIS place is the Worst she has seen.  There are stake presidents who don't get it at all and frankly don't care.   This depresses me greatly as it feel hopeless, but I will still try.  However I really think I need to move if it continues to be like this.  

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Dating Night Mare and the non- SA program.

(Previous to any of this happening, I got the idea to see the Stake President about the pathetic SA program in the area, educate him about what it could be, by showing his examples of other area) 

He was 64 and not a lawyer, but did have a PHD.  Yep- old enough to be my father.  He has a son who is 37.  To bad he's not active and hates the church because I should be dating him!  We went to a Chinese buffet and he proceeded to tell me why he wanted to go out with me- to tell me how to get a man and start having kids ASAP.

1. Ward hop.  Go up to a RS sister and ask if there are any SA men in the ward and if so could you please introduce them to me. If not give her my phone number and say  if you know of anyone please call me.
2. When I go meet them, strike up a conversation, make a connection with touch too, open myself up for a date.
3. If a man asks for a kiss on the first date do it.  He won't ask me out again if I say no.
4. If a man asks if I like sex I'm suppose to say I LOVE IT!
5. I should snuggle up to men I've never met during dances and get real close.

The whole thing was- he didn't just tell me- he showed me.  Yep- you got it, rubbing my back, my neck, my arms.  he wanted a hug, a snuggle like a dance, etc.  he told me they reason he's touching me is because of 3 reasons: 1. I need it.  2. He needs it and 3. He's showing me how it's done.  He uses a quote from Elder Scott about touching is bad when single under or on closes if it's those important parts.  He tells me all else is fine.  A little strange coming from someone I don't know at all.

Oh, he's been married 3 times.  That number shouldn't scare me- I was wife number 5.  He proceeded to tell me that 80% of divorces in the LDS church are done by women.  Our YM have been told that sex is bad.  They don't organism. (I explained that the Pew Forum says the exact opposite.)  They feel good nursing, so the baby becomes more important then the man and so on through the children.  Pretty soon, the house, the furniture, the carpet becomes more important than the man and the only thing left is the garbage and ya put that out.   He tells me I need to get the book The Act of Marriage which can be found at Deseret Book.  He just assumes I don't like or have not had good experiences in bed.  I tell him yes I have.  He disagrees.  I have told him NOTHING about my sex life, so I don't know where this idea is coming from.  I explain that OH YES I SURE DO KNOW A LOT WHEN IT COMES TO THE BEDROOM.

 I ask what about those Dr. Jackel and Mr. Hyde types.  He tells me at my age I have to take risks. He'll call me in a month when he's back in town for work and to call him if I have any questions. 

I'm left just weirded out!  Usually a date is about 2 people getting to know each other, not one of them telling the other how to find someone so they can multiply and replenish. Do I listen to his advice?  Take some of it and ward hop? Forget it and trust the Lord?  People on FB say to run like the wind.  I call a few friends and tell them the story.  I realize the next morning that what he did was disturb my peace and happiness which I had to fight for his last year and finally got it through just giving it to the Lord.  Just thinking about it gives me the shivers!  UGGG! 

What makes it worse is this:  Sunday an Elder Cook of the 12 was here for the west stake. I am not part of that stake, but went anyway to the Saturday adult session.  A bunch of single girls were sitting in the row ahead of me and I talked to them.  They are in a ward that is like 25 to 35.  They invite me to go the pizza party at the bishops house afterwords.  I go.  I'm hoping to see a lot of hot men to motivate me to exercise.  Lets just say I haven't exercised.  These men were HUGE.  Some of the people - the skinny ones- had kids. This ward has a nursery. 

I talk to the bishop about my age-ya I'm getting up there.  He hates having to tell the members gotta go to the family ward.  He does no tell them about the SA stuff which is mainly filled with senior citizens.   Ya, it's shocking, but that's what one has to deal with when one turns 31.  He invited me to his FHE, but I have my own.  He needs to find out what to do about his ward since the new handbook says nothing about about a 25 and up ward.  First I've heard of it.  

So their are a few pretty women, mostly size 14.  One size 5.  The men here should know about her, so they don't have to drive 7 hours to see their girl friend. This all depresses me, then the date.  

Next we have a dilemma in the Magic Valley SA FB page.  There is no LDS and no LDS people can find us. A change is made a an older women who never says anything says something- we can't do it- handbooks says no.  THAT IS LUDICROUS!   So the name was changed over and over again with in a 1/2 hour.  It was one lady who thought that we couldn't do that because of what the church has said. Of course she is wrong. I respond with some explanation of what the new handbook says, saying the twin towers have not fallen.  I said some other choice things and feel terrible because it hurt someone's feelings.  

So all these things added up and I got really upset and at times still am.  If the program was running like it was suppose to, none of this would would be happening. 

Monday, June 11, 2012

Dating Options

I just got back from a FHE I hosted at a park in town.  I look around at the SA there, young, old, with kids, with out kids and then there's the dysfunctions- addictions, ex-communicated.

This weekend I went out of town for a SA conference and a gentleman asked for my phone number and to take me out to dinner.  He works for the Bureau of Land Management or the BLM as they call it here and the judiciary system- so he's a lawyer.  He comes to Twin Falls once a month. He has 7 kids, 21 grand kids and 10 step grand kids! He also just bought 10 acres in Star Idaho. I suppose that means he has money.  I think; "what are you doing asking me out?" Hello, you know I don't have children!  He told me I was intelligent and cute.  My friend Beverly says men always want the younger women.

But after tonight I think, what the heck- go for the old guys.  They can pay off my debt my ex can't seem to be man enough to take care that is really his and we can travel.  I do not feel old enough to play grandma to kids yet though. They can just call me Becky.

I guess they call that a "sugar daddy."