Thursday, October 20, 2011

The Power of Friends

Last 2 nights in Nampa in my cute blue house with 3 bedrooms, new carpet, new kitchen appliances, new bathroom vanity and cabinet mirror. Nampa with family and friends and neighbors near by, and a dog park. Moving to Twin Falls to ugly, 2 bedroom, old kitchen appliances and cabinets, strange carpet and layout, and more rent, but a garage when it snows and a temple that is open, but no friends.

I've been crying a lot lately about this move. Being away from people and the change in houses are my NOW issues. But of course their is also the other eternal stuff. Am I a looser? Why is my life going like this? Why can't I have my righteous desires? Will I ever be with anyone else or just stay single and alone for forever. I've been telling Heavenly Father that if I still have blessings of a husband and children allotted (Alma 29)to me, if it's at all possible, even though I messed things up, can I please have them. Please. I know I'm overweight, and have ugly legs and arms and a fat stomach, but my insides are pretty good most of the time. The being alone is the worry part of my being right now.

I read this earlier today via E-mail. It feels right, so I'm sharing it.

They Teach It at Stanford :

"I just finished taking an evening class at Stanford. The last lecture was on the mind-body connection - the relationship between stress and disease. The speaker (head of psychiatry at Stanford) said, among other things, that one of the best things that a man could do for his health is to be married to a woman, whereas for a woman, one of the best things she could do for her health was to nurture her relationships with her girlfriends. At first everyone laughed, but he was serious. Women connect with each other differently and provide support systems that help each other to deal with stress and difficult life experiences. Physically this quality "girlfriend time" helps us to create more serotonin - a neurotransmitter that helps combat depression and can create a general feeling of well being. Women share feelings whereas men often form relationships around activities. They rarely sit down with a buddy and talk about how they feel about certain things or how their personal lives are going. Jobs? Yes. Sports? Yes. Cars? Yes. Fishing, hunting, golf? Yes. But their feelings? Rarely. Women do it all of the time. We share from our souls with our sisters/mothers, and evidently that is very good for our health. He said that spending time with a friend is just as important to our general health as jogging or working out at a gym. There's a tendency to think that when we are "exercising" we are doing something good for our bodies, but when we are hanging out with friends, we are wasting our time and should be more productively engaged - not true. In fact, he said that failure to create and maintain quality personal relationships with other humans is as dangerous to our physical health as smoking! So every time you hang out to schmooze with a gal pal, just pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself for doing something good for your health! We are indeed very, very lucky. So let's toast to our friendship with our girlfriends. Evidently it's very good for our health."

Instead of coming home to my place of boxes, that my mom has been packing I went straight to my friend Beverley's. It's been over a week since I've seen her and we used to call or visit daily. She has 2 dogs too, and a cat. I hung out with her for 2 hours, watching Gray's Anatomy and Dr. Oz and eating apple slices and bagels with melted cheese. When I drove away I felt so good. So filled up. It was so good to hang out and be and talk about men and their diseases. When I read that little email it felt right. Right and good. And then I had an experience with it and it's true. It's really true.

Friday, October 14, 2011

S.E.E.D. (an experiment)

Did you know there are TWO invitations and tests in The Book of Mormon to find out if anything, especially spiritual things like the Book of Mormon is true. We of course know there is Moroni 10:3-5:
Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how amerciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and bponder it in your chearts.

4 And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would aask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not btrue; and if ye shall ask with a csincere heart, with dreal intent, having efaith in Christ, he will fmanifest the gtruth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may aknow the btruth of all things.

But at Alma 32 give us another one and it is for faith and probably many other things we want to find the truth of. This one is for those scientific types. This one actually follows the scientific method basic's of a hypothesis, an experiment, analyzing the data, etc.

The questions: Are these things true? Should I believe?
Background: You need to study and read and find out as much as possible.
Hypothesis: The Book of Mormon is true because it helps me SEE and D.
Test: Plant the seed in your heart(notice it's not your head)
Annalyze that data: Does it do these things that are explained below?
Communicate results: This is what happened to me. It can happen to you. (why we send missionaries out and share our faith with our neighbors)

Here is the invitation:
27 But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than adesire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.

28 Now, we will compare the word unto a aseed. Now, if ye give place, that a bseed may be planted in your cheart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your dunbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves—It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me.

Do you see the SEED? If the seed is good and you have not cast it out by unbelief or resisted the Spirit it will
Swell within your breasts,
Enlarge your soul,
Enlighten your understanding and becomes
Delicious to you!

The Book of Mormon does that for me every time I read it- EVERY TIME!

The goal of planting a seed is to get a tree and get fruit!

What's so great about Alma 32 and this experiment is that it tells us the seed will die if we do not nourish it.
37 And behold, as the tree beginneth to grow, ye will say: Let us nourish it with great care, that it may get root, that it may grow up, and bring forth fruit unto us. And now behold, if ye nourish it with much care it will get root, and grow up, and bring forth fruit.

38 But if ye aneglect the tree, and take no thought for its nourishment, behold it will not get any root; and when the heat of the sun cometh and scorcheth it, because it hath no root it withers away, and ye pluck it up and cast it out.

39 Now, this is not because the seed was not good, neither is it because the fruit thereof would not be desirable; but it is because your aground is bbarren, and ye will not nourish the tree, therefore ye cannot have the fruit thereof.

40 And thus, if ye will not nourish the word, looking forward with an eye of faith to the fruit thereof, ye can never pluck of the fruit of the atree of life.

41 But if ye will nourish the word, yea, nourish the tree as it beginneth to grow, by your faith with great diligence, and with apatience, looking forward to the fruit thereof, it shall take root; and behold it shall be a tree bspringing up unto everlasting life.

42 And because of your adiligence and your faith and your patience with the word in nourishing it, that it may take root in you, behold, by and by ye shall pluck the bfruit thereof, which is most precious, which is sweet above all that is sweet, and which is white above all that is white, yea, and pure above all that is pure; and ye shall feast upon this fruit even until ye are filled, that ye hunger not, neither shall ye thirst.

I have tasted the fruit and it is sweet above all that is sweet and pure above all that is pure.
It is delicious to me.
Of this I testify.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Dog Swim Party

This is a park near my home with a swimming pool. On the last Saturday of August it hosted a dog swim and stroll party. Only dogs could swim. They had 2 life guards there too.
It cost 10$ for the dog to swim, 10$ for the T-shirt. All money benefits the Nampa dog park.

Coco loves to swim. He would swim (not just at a party) all the time at the dog park on Mercer Island on the shore of Lake Washington. He doesn't get to do that as much, although I've taken him to Lake Lowell here, which is a man made irrigation fed lake that can get gross.

It was just so fun to see this in a swimming pool. It was fun to see the dogs get each others balls, dogs get on the Island and bark at the other dogs swimming by, to watch the dogs try for the courage to jump in the water- putting a paw out as if they could walk on the water. At one point I pushed Coco into the deep end. He went all the way under and came back up. I think that's his second time doing that. This summer I've been making Parker swim at the lake here, but it's not something he chooses to do, so didn't pay for him, but he walked around, going in the bathrooms, hiding beside a lady in a wheel chair.

There is also vendors outside the pool area. Some giving away treats and small bags of dog food. They had a raffle and my friend Beverley won 200$ in prizes including a LARGE bag of Science Diet Dog food. Parker and I participated in a look a like contest. I stuck out my tonge like he does and went on stage and told everyone about him. I so wanted to win, but didn't. If we do it next year I'm going to dress in black and white and WIN. A little girl had her dog dressed just like her with a green shirt and jeans. The jeans kept falling off the little dog. She got 2nd place I think.

Shelters or the Humane society had adoptable dogs for just 25$.

I got there, took these 4 pictures and promptly dropped my brand new camera in the water. The nice man next to me got it out, but it was ruined! Luckily I still had my phone camera.

Up Date on Twin

I left Twin Wed night and am back in Nampa. There is no school there today, and C didn't come to school on Tuesday. I spent Tues looking for places to live and came home bummed as nothing seemed to be working out. Places were to small, but affordable, to big and not so affordable with my get out of debt goal, or not thrilled with dogs.

But I found some more options on Wed and places to look when I get back on Sunday. This time I'm sure I'll be staying till Thursday. The company Pro-Active Advantage will be paying for this last week of my stay at the motel 6. That's a relief as I still had to pay Oct rent here! But I need to find someone else - a member of the church to stay with for free. Up date a few hours latter- I found someone! Yahoo!

Then SLC for a wedding!Then back to work with little miss run away who has NO educational IEP goals, just 2 social skill goals. We are only working on one; increasing compliance and decreasing non-compliance. When that happens we will introduce her to other kids her age and hope she will play!

Saturday, October 1, 2011

More NEW

I'm totally stressed out. I've been in tears a few times today and yesterday. It's conference weekend, but right after all the sessions I have to be up to Twin Falls, to start my new job for 4 days, then drive to SLC to attend my nephews wedding, then back up to Twin, for another 4 days. During the 8 days in Twin I hope I can find a place to live that is acceptable for me and the dogs. If I do, it's down to Nampa to rent a U-Haul again, pack up and re order my life once again. I've had so many changes in the last 2 years, I'm looking for some easier times ahead.
Shoshone Falls

Just when I'm getting comfortable in Nampa I have to move. I love the place I live. It's perfect for me and for the dogs. The job- not so much- way too much dysfunction- WAY TOO MUCH. I find it impossible to not get involved. The ward- It's OK. I make my self heard in gospel doctrine and relief society. I have a friend- Beverely T. who I speak on the phone with daily and has 2 dogs like me. The Bishop finally (after his talk I'm sure with the Stake President) asked me to speak. Of course there is to much in the way to have that happen (see the above paragraph) You snooze, you loose.(The Perrine Bridge over the Snake River you have to go over to get to Twin)

I gave my resignation notice on wed the 28 over the phone, the letter on the 30, and my last day is Oct 1st. The 3rd will be my second day as I was paid on Thursday the 29th, 16 dollars an hour! Yep, if I'm working with a student age child in school with them, I make 16, If I work outside of school with anyone I make 18 an hour!
What will I be doing, you might ask. Here in Idaho it's called PSR work, which stands for Psycho-social Rehabilitation. I will be working with people with mental illnesses. By law I have 30 months to take classes and a test and then I will be have letters behind my name. CPRP. Certified Psychiatric Rehabilitation Practitioner (I think). Washington State does not use this method at all. When I ask- does this person have a case manager, a state social worker, they don't know what I'm talking about, but many states use this method.

My thoughts during the drive there for the interview were negative, but the interview went amazingly well. Then a temple session and on the way home I was feeling great about it. The next visit- a days work I was realizing how my life has seemed to almost lead up to this. Like it was a path.

1. A college education in human development
2. A practicum at USU at the Bear River Mental Health Day program.
3. A care giving job with people with disabilities and mental illnesses in Bellevue that started my "career" with the DD population.
4. A one on one position with G. at Children's Institute for Learning Differences on Mercer Island in 1999. G was violent- tried to hit me with a large stick and got naked once!
5. The last year of learning the appropriate way to handle conflict and stress maturely.

As much as I've told people I don't like Idaho (for many reasons) I will miss Nampa. I really will. It's starting to feel like home. I know the streets, I love the views of the animals I drive by all the time. It has Costoc and Winco! It has my family! It has a great dog park (which at first I thought was so lame). It has my friends (can you believe that is plural) that I will miss! Twin is just a 2 hour drive to Nampa.

But maybe this will be great! If they get me 40 hours of work, I can get out of debt in about 8 months. It will be a new start, one where I'm not in crisis mode as I was almost 5 months ago.