Thursday, October 20, 2011

The Power of Friends

Last 2 nights in Nampa in my cute blue house with 3 bedrooms, new carpet, new kitchen appliances, new bathroom vanity and cabinet mirror. Nampa with family and friends and neighbors near by, and a dog park. Moving to Twin Falls to ugly, 2 bedroom, old kitchen appliances and cabinets, strange carpet and layout, and more rent, but a garage when it snows and a temple that is open, but no friends.

I've been crying a lot lately about this move. Being away from people and the change in houses are my NOW issues. But of course their is also the other eternal stuff. Am I a looser? Why is my life going like this? Why can't I have my righteous desires? Will I ever be with anyone else or just stay single and alone for forever. I've been telling Heavenly Father that if I still have blessings of a husband and children allotted (Alma 29)to me, if it's at all possible, even though I messed things up, can I please have them. Please. I know I'm overweight, and have ugly legs and arms and a fat stomach, but my insides are pretty good most of the time. The being alone is the worry part of my being right now.

I read this earlier today via E-mail. It feels right, so I'm sharing it.

They Teach It at Stanford :

"I just finished taking an evening class at Stanford. The last lecture was on the mind-body connection - the relationship between stress and disease. The speaker (head of psychiatry at Stanford) said, among other things, that one of the best things that a man could do for his health is to be married to a woman, whereas for a woman, one of the best things she could do for her health was to nurture her relationships with her girlfriends. At first everyone laughed, but he was serious. Women connect with each other differently and provide support systems that help each other to deal with stress and difficult life experiences. Physically this quality "girlfriend time" helps us to create more serotonin - a neurotransmitter that helps combat depression and can create a general feeling of well being. Women share feelings whereas men often form relationships around activities. They rarely sit down with a buddy and talk about how they feel about certain things or how their personal lives are going. Jobs? Yes. Sports? Yes. Cars? Yes. Fishing, hunting, golf? Yes. But their feelings? Rarely. Women do it all of the time. We share from our souls with our sisters/mothers, and evidently that is very good for our health. He said that spending time with a friend is just as important to our general health as jogging or working out at a gym. There's a tendency to think that when we are "exercising" we are doing something good for our bodies, but when we are hanging out with friends, we are wasting our time and should be more productively engaged - not true. In fact, he said that failure to create and maintain quality personal relationships with other humans is as dangerous to our physical health as smoking! So every time you hang out to schmooze with a gal pal, just pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself for doing something good for your health! We are indeed very, very lucky. So let's toast to our friendship with our girlfriends. Evidently it's very good for our health."

Instead of coming home to my place of boxes, that my mom has been packing I went straight to my friend Beverley's. It's been over a week since I've seen her and we used to call or visit daily. She has 2 dogs too, and a cat. I hung out with her for 2 hours, watching Gray's Anatomy and Dr. Oz and eating apple slices and bagels with melted cheese. When I drove away I felt so good. So filled up. It was so good to hang out and be and talk about men and their diseases. When I read that little email it felt right. Right and good. And then I had an experience with it and it's true. It's really true.


Christy Jones said...

I liked this post. I hope things go well for you in your new place! I really don't like that you feel like a loser. EVERYONE makes mistakes and has struggles and you shouldn't feel like there is something wrong with you because things didn't work out. Life is complicated and some mistakes are more obvious than others. I really hope that you do find love again but if you don't thats O.K too! Your in my prayers!!

Christy said...

So insightful and I loved the part about women and friends. Wow. Best of luck in your move, and thanks for your perspective and your words. =)