Thursday, March 24, 2011

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Crossing Paths and Heavenly Fathers Hand

At Ricks College (now BYU-Idaho) There was this girl in my dorm named Rebecca. I knew who she was, but we never spoke. Fast forward about 8 years and there she is in Kirkland WA at a party I was at. We became fast friends and went on near and far trips together.

My second year at Ricks there was Julie. She now lives down the street from my sister Sarah and they both have 5 kids the same age. I get to see her when I come visit too.

I can think of many times when visiting family I have run into people I knew from Ricks and Utah State and some of them have been able to come and visit me here in Seattle.

Then at Utah State there was Christy. We lived in the round house together for a year. She came with me to Reno NV to interview for a job that I ended up getting. Fast forward 10 plus years and she moves to Kirkland WA with her family. So far we have visited once a year. We need to visit more.

Then there is Amy in CA. That first Sunday in my young single ward where I moved for my new job, Amy invited me over to her house for dinner. I met her mom. She left on a mission and I wrote her. Fast forward and she gets married and moves to WA. She has lived in 3 different cities here, but twice now we have been in the same stake. Her mom even asks about me when she visits.

Amazing how paths cross. But also amazing how friends and blessings happen.

Take for instance my 11 month stint in northern CA. My tin man first car broke down in Placerville CA on the freeway. Who stopped by, but a nice man who had that celestial smile under his white shirt. He was LDS. I stayed for a few days at his house with his family until I got a new used car. Then latter in the year, I needed cheaper rent, so I moved into their garage for a few months. A blessing! I knew from that, that Heavenly Father was involved in my life and taking care of me. My dad flew in one weekend for support through a hard time and he was able to stay at their house too.

Also in CA, I met a friend named Julie. While we were friends for only a few sort months, I flew all the way to Washington DC for her wedding. We have continued to stay in touch over the years- it's been over a decade- through letters, phone calls and emails. She has been a great help with life challenges.

I also met Jason who even when he was first married was a support to me.

Crazy that such a short time in CA brought so many friends!

I've seen it here too. Casual friends with Cheryl in the Bellevue 8th ward led to a job working for Carly and her 3 autistic boys which led to working for Special Care Agency for 2 plus years. Carly made the cheese cakes for my wedding. During a hiatus from that agency I had lots of different jobs that kept the money flowing. Then I had a plan that I blogged about and with in 45 minutes it all fell through. I didn't know what to do. I went to LDS employment, then a few days latter the temple, where I ran into a Sunday School teacher who felt inspired to tell me that I should call LDS employment. I had received a call from there earlier that day and needed to call back. I did and just a half hour before a woman who had gone to my high school and we both grew up in the same stake had called needing someone who had my skills. I worked for over a year for Amy and her family. She took the pictures for my wedding and found me a place for the wedding and reception that was affordable.

I can think of many times while visiting family in Utah or other states that I have run into people I have known during college days or my mission. I have many other friends who I value and visit when ever possible because they add so much to my life. The LDS world is small and for that I'm thankful.

Then there is Emma. I prayed for her. I lived in this small town that was 84% Hispanic. I was a minority and had a teaching job I didn't apply for. I hated it and was pretty lonely. We became fast friends. Again another short 11 months of a handful of friends in the ward and Donna. Amazing!

I would be reminisce if I didn't mention Janea. Friends in HS, went to Ricks at the same time, I visited her at USU before her mission. I went to school there and when she came back we lived together. Now we are both in WA again. She has gotten me through some hard times.

This post was suppose to be about just 2 or 3 people, but look what happened when I started to remember. I am so thankful for all of them and it's so nice to know they are there when I need them.

Friends and blessings came when I needed them. Thank you Heavenly Father.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Something Great

I've always wanted to do something great, to be someone great. I have lots of great friends. Friends (like Annette and Laurel) who have published books, have CD talks out or offer themselves to a world that needs to hear what they have to say. I have other friends too (like Ann and Janea) who are great on a smaller scale- not book, or CD's, but people- LOTS and LOTS of people. But when I think of my friends in life- roommates from college, friends from single adult days and even friends now who are married( like Bobbie or Loha), I wish I could be more like them or at least more unique like me so what I have to offer matters. Really matters in this life.

During my dark days of singleness I remember thinking if your not a wife and a mother, what are you? What have you given? The answer was nothing and to me it meant that I had nothing to give hence why I wasn't having that blessing happen. Yet I also contradicted those thoughts with 'I'm not that ugly, I'm righteous, I KNOW the scripture, I serve, I'm a good person, I have righteous desires and they are cute and young and dumb and prettier or thinner than me and that's why they get what they have not grieved over.

Lucikly before I got married I got over it and just enjoyed my life, but now that I'm married, I see that it is not about married status at all. It was solely about you! I didn't have to shame myself or be prideful at all. It is about who you ARE and who you are BECOMING.

It's about what this quote says:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.”

I had a blessing once that said the same thing essentially. "I have a personality that delights men and women and it does not serve me well when I hide it."

I've always wanted to be old. I grew up with to many old people- my parents and my siblings, and I knew that older was better. Life lessons were learned- you just lived. Mistake had already been made and you just watched others make mistakes.There was less to worry about it seems. I wanted and still sometimes want to be over with the mistakes, and the worry and the becoming and just BE, just live.

I know what my patriarchal blessing says.
  • "Great ladies of my time as I teach and give direction"
  • "greater understanding of life"
  • "Many people will gather around you and call you blessed"
  • "having the spiritual and temporal needs to help those who come to my door"
  • "Helping those who are less fortunate than me"
I can put names behind those quotes of the people I mentioned above that have done those things, are doing those things. So the question remains: AM I? Am I those things? If not am I becoming those things?

What started all of this you probably didn't ask yourself. Well here's the quote that did.

History hinges upon seemingly small and simple souls. Keep moving forward.

I guess I want to be a small and simple soul who in the end makes a difference. So I will increase my efforts to be a better me and keep moving forward.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

The Forgotten Garden

Quotes from a book

"Nick cried in the delivery room, but Cassandra hadn't. She'd been too present, too much a part of the powerful moment, to react in such a way. To cry would have necessitated a second level of feeling, an ability to stop outside events and view them within a a larger context. Cassandra's experience had been too immediate for that. She'd felt fired from within by a sort of dizzy jubilation. As if she could hear better, see better, than she ever had before. Could hear her own pulse pumping, the light humming about, her new baby's breaths." p. 462

"You make a life out of what you have,
not what you're missing"
p. 463

"You mustn't wait for someone to rescue you," Mother would continue, a faraway look in her eyes. "A girl expecting rescue never learns to save herself. Even with the means, she'll find her courage wanting. Don't be like that, Eliza. You must find your courage, learn to rescue yourself, never rely on anyone else." p. 122