Sunday, July 18, 2010

Family is forforever and the viel is thin: Dad

Recently I've been thinking about my dad. He died on July 25th 2006 at the age of 89 and after being married 50 years to my mom. It was a surprise death. He walked into the hospital and a few hours later was hooked up to tubes, a few more hours and we unhooked the tubes and he was gone within 20 minutes.

A few months after his death, I had a blessing, by Scott Bowen who had been my bishop, who I babysat for, for years and who was then in the Stake Presidency. In the blessing he said that "my father is busy, but is aware of me and knows what's going on." of course after the blessing I cried in Scott's arms and said "I miss my dad!"

The next year was filled with unpredictable grieving. But now I often wonder what he would think of Jason, what he'd tell me concerning marriage, etc. I so wanted him to be there at my wedding. I was his last child to be married and he wanted to know I was taken care of. It was on his mind a lot, especially when he was sick and afraid he was going to go.

Today, Jason and I were reading Kevin Hinckley's power point gospel doctrine presentation found on about Samuel being called by the Lord and him thinking it was Eli. As a teenager I had experience where I heard my name called. I thought it was my nephews down in the basement who were visiting. It was not them. It was not my parents. I kept hearing my name being called. It got to the point where I realized it was an evil voice and came from different directions. I started to cry and say "their calling my name", "their calling my name". My dad said "what name are they calling you by? The name was Becky, not Rebecca, my legal given name that I am known by on the records of the church. That night I slept next to my mom and my dad slept in my bed I was so scared. When I read the account of Samuel and Eli and the voice I remembered this story and knew my dad knew that if it was from the Lord he would call me "Rebecca", not Becky. Eli knew that as well.

A few months ago, Jason and I drove to Port Townsend/Port Angeles and the surrounding area. We stopped off at this ranger station to get maps, directions, ideas of what to do etc. There was this OLD farm, machinery equipment- just the metal rusting frame out side the place and boom - I was in tears thinking about my dad! Strange!!!! After our little day trip we went to mom's and told her where we were and she said that Grandpa Rose and his brother were home steading near there. The land was later donated to the church who then sold it as it was to small.
On July 2nd I came home from work 2 hours late and was in tears. After telling Jason the whole story I asked for a blessing and although Jason said nothing about my dad I was thinking about him and tears came. I missed my dad!

After that last experience I began to think that perhaps at those times especially when the priesthood is used is when the veil gets thin and Dad can see what is going on. We know from prophets that the Spirit World is all around us. I've had other feelings about my father protecting other family members from danger.

It will be a long life with out him, but I know that he is near and family is forever!

I miss you dad!

1 comment:

Christy Jones said...

lovely post Becky! Loss can be a hard thing and I am sorry you are missing your dad!