The Man List

“You can't ask for what you want unless you know what it is. A lot of people don't know what they want or they want much less than they deserve. First you have figure out what you want. Second, you have to decide that you deserve it. Third, you have to believe you can get it. And, fourth, YOU HAVE TO HAVE THE GUTS TO ASK FOR IT.” -Barbara De Angelis

Gotta Have

• Education- bachelor degree

• Family focus- babies perhaps

• Gospel knowledge

• Testimony and love of the scriptures

• Current Temple Recommend

• A handle on money:  savings account, lives within means, knows difference between needs and wants, has a $ plan of the future, has a retirement. 

• Knows how to solve problems 

• Loves all animals, especially dogs. 

• Commandment keeper 
• Understand and lives section 121 
• Desire for Righteousness- to follow the Savior and be faithful to the gospel at all costs. 

Needs to Have

• Social skills, 

• Clean mouth

• Listening skills 

• A good job

• Lets me read and study 

• Lets me do the things I enjoy doing

• Encourages me to develop my talents, helps me to be better. 

• Kindness  
• Honesty to himself and others about who he is and where he is at in life
• Maturity- not worried about his body, being cool, what others think about him, but about eternal things. 
• Sense of humor, makes me laugh 
• Knows how to make decisions, receive revelation and follow through regardless of how difficult it is.

Would be Nice 

• Fix it and built it skills

• A home he owns

• No debt 
• Likes to travel 
• musical- piano, singing? 

Deal Breakers 

• Intense anger

• Throwing, breaking things 

• Easily offended 

• Can't take the truth 

• Manipulative

• Reviles back

• Will not turn the other cheek

• Addictions. 
• Controlling 

Zip Linning!

 In June there was a SA barbeque at a park in Twin right by the Snake River.  Robyn and I stopped the car to see the newly put in zip lines and watch people do it.  The owner and operator offered us $20 off.  But even with that deal, we couldn't afford it, so he let us go for FREE!  It took the rest of the evening, but it was SO FUN.  I was nervous each time, but once I was out there it was great! There was a total of 4 zip lines that we walked to each time. 

The platform where you leave solid ground from!

 Robyn didn't want to go due to the heat, so Aaron came instead.

Below is Harris Pond in Burley.  This is a private recreation place made by a member of the church. 

 Besides the canoes, paddle boats and other water craft, 

there is a water slide, 

and a swing to jump into the water. 

 Don't you love the man made Island, bridge and waterfall? 

Blow is a man made train out of those large water barrels

 and a golf cart.  So clever! 

I did this a total of 3 times.  On the third I asked Shane to push me harder, but I slowed down and practically stopped over the pond!  I told Kevin, the photographer in both places to "Get the canoe!"  He had just been out in one, but luckily gravity took over and I made it to the end, very slowly.

Mormons and Mennonites

I work with a little 7 year old boy that is a Mennonite.  Mennonite are sort of like the Amish.  The women wear simple dresses all the time, even while skiing, they also wear a black cap over their hair in a bun.   The men often look just like the rest of the population. 

I looked on Google for images, but none were true to the likeness of those here  in Idaho.
This is what I've learned about the Mennonites from my time with them:

• They only educate in their own schools till 8th grade

• They don't vote, serve on jury's and the military.  Heaven is their kingdom, war is bad.

• They use no instruments in church or ever.  They think music is bad, yet instruments are in the Bible which puzzles me. 

• They attend church for 5 hours on Sunday,  2 in the morning, 3 in the evening. 

• Most of them are farmers or do jobs that go along with farming like driving trucks. 

• They believe that God the Father and Jesus Christ are separate, but spirits. 

• They drive cars and shop in grocerie stores, and Costco and DI.

• Many of them adopt it seems through the foster care system. I think it is to keep the religion going. 

• There are 30 different groups of Mennonites.  

• I've seen Mennonites in the library using the internet. 

• They don't believe in dancing which is in the Bible.
• They use cell phones.

My realizations are this.  It doesn't 'matter how good of a person you are, if you don't have the truth, things in you're worship and life style will be missing.  Unlike the rest of the world they swing on the other side of the pendulum.  While many American's  don't seem to care what they do with their body, who they do it with what they put in or on their bodies, the Mennonites do care about those things, but they also leave out good things.  In my opinion they take away many opportunities to choose between good and evil.

For instance;  Mormon's believe that all knowledge comes from God, hence TV, Internet and the like is for preaching the gospel.  While it is used for bad things too, one can choose what to make and what to watch.

Mormon's love music.  We have the Mormon Tabernacle Choir accompanied with a piano and organ.  We use those in our Sunday meetings and often a violin or flute as well. We believe in the beauty of music from any mouth and instrument.  Like I said all good things come from God.

So in essence they keep good things out of their life to avoid the bad.  What is sad is some of the things they think are bad are really good. 

From the LDS Newsroom and the article Mormon and Modern is this quote that sums it what we believe.

For Mormons, there need not be a conflict between devotion to one’s faith and meaningful participation in modern society. Faithful Latter-day Saints are currently engaged in education, science, business, the arts and political life. In a pluralistic world, modern sensibilities tend to compartmentalize spheres of human activity. But Mormon thought encourages integration.

Mormons welcome truth from whatever source and take the pragmatic view that where religion and science seem to clash, it is simply because there are insufficient data to reconcile the two. Latter-day Saints approach such tensions as challenges to learn, not contradictions to avoid.

Life in a Nutshell

1.  I just got home from my first 3 hours at KMart working for Olan Mills trying to sell photography shoots.  I make 9 dollars an hour and every Tue and Wed OM is closed.  If I don't sell anything with in an hour and a half I get sent home, then only get to work that many hours next WEEK.  Crazy huh?  I was struggling with my feet killing me and not really enjoying it but also needing money so badly.

2. I'm on unemployment which is only 161.00 a week.  Not enough to pay the bills, but I am again getting food stamps.  I'm some what concerned with work in the fall.  If G. my little charge from last year moves to Buhl or Twin they have to go with a different company.  There are jobs in Gooding, but it is like an hour a way.  NOT fun!

3. Mr. 64 or scary Gary as I've been calling him (that date I had) did call me back on the next friday to see if I found a ward to go to, but luckily I was at the Department of labor, so really couldn't carry on a conversation.  I told my family about it and the advice was to take charge of the date, set some boundaries of what you will and will not talk about as all that was inappropriate.

The guy from Tennessee has been trying to message me via FB everyday.  He's very flirtatious and I find it annoying.  I un-friended him yesterday.

I got back in touch with the military guy who was all lovey-dovey.  I told him I was not interested in anyone who was not LDS.  He said he was a Mormon and I knew he was just saying that and that now I could not trust him.  He came back with a angry reply so that is over before it began. 

4. I spent last week in Meridian ID where 6 of the 7 kids gathered.  It was lots of fun!  We ate dinner every night at a family members home who lives there, talked and laughed till it got dark every night, then planned the next day.  There was no pressure, so assignments,  just relaxing fun.  We floated the Boise River.  I stayed with mom and so did my oldest sister, her daughter-in-law and her 3 kids.

Sarah brought her new dog Pepper,  I had my 2 dogs and of course there was Sadie the 13 year old Golden Retriever.  It was fun with them all.

We met Melissa's new soon to be husband Griffin.  Marriage on August 11 in the Las Vegas Temple.  The first kiss was there, the proposal was there and then the marriage.  Coolest story ever.  We also met Jessica's boy friend Chad.  

There will be pictures forthcoming.

5. I'm back to living alone.  Yentl moved out and I really need a roommate. I've advertised on Craigs list and I only get scammers which now I don't  respond to.

6. I met with my stake president about a lack of a SA program and he said that he doesn't know what to do with the 30 to 50 group.  I gave him some ideas, some info, etc.  He said I was inspired to come to see him.  I've been thinking about doing that for 3 weeks.   Who know what will happen.

Inspiring Lives

There are some amazing women out there who have lead incredible lives and also write uplifting blogs.  You should know about them.

1. Heather at Women in the Scriptures, (never met in person) who is a co-author of a book: the gift of giving life, presenter at a holistic conference, mother of 3. http://womeninthescriptures.blogspot.com/

2. Laurel at Just Around this Corner, my mission companion, VP of something at Deseret Book, produced Time Out for Women, not-married (yet), speaker at girls camps, friend to many, and funny!  http://justaroundthiscorner.blogspot.com/

3. Megan, my cousin who I rarely saw growing up and as adults, but who I've gotten to know due to her blog.  She's the mother of 5, two twin girls on the other side of the veil, 2 boys here now, one through adoption, one through birth and one little girl in the tummy!  http://marcandmegan.blogspot.com/

4. Jennifer, who I met only once, who is a single mom to 4 boys, who works 5 jobs, is fun, a fashionista,  and a talented writer- even on her Facebook posts.  http://theboysquad.blogspot.com/

5. Jocelyn, who I've never met in person, journalist, mother of 3,expecting baby #4, champion of The Book of Mormon, The Proclamation on the family, and bringing the spirit into her home.  http://beinglds.blogspot.com/

6. Shannon, who also I've never met, new mom, skin cancer survivor, publisher of scripture study journals and the like, paid seminary teacher for over 10 years, very visual learner, owner of an ice cream store, home decorator.  http://www.theredheadedhostess.com/

7. Michaela, lover of the scriptures, thinker extraordinaire, writer of 2 on line books, one for teens about things they can learn from Isaiah, and one about the things the Savior has said that are puzzling. Also never met in person.  http://scriptoriumblogorium.blogspot.com/

I was going to stop at the first 4, but more kept coming to me. There are so many great women out there, I hope you stop by and learn from them. Although they have different lives, they have the same thing in common; they are righteous, praying, commandment keeping, trusting in the Lord, Spirit seeking women.  I would do well to live more like them.

a group of men

So besides Mr. 64, who called me on Friday to ask if I had found a ward to go to and work HIS plan there have been others:

I chatted on line with a man in Tennessee through LDS Mid-singles of the world FB group. He flirted quite a bit and is almost, in Sept 34 and is quite anxious to talk to me, etc.  There are no girls for him to ask out and he is desperate.

Then there is a non-member military guy I think 32- I don't know where he lives.  All of this in less than 1 week.

I finally feel mostly comfortable (except situation like Mr. 64) being friends with men, handling myself in a dating situation.  Too bad it took this long and I couldn't figure it out when I was in my 20's, but oh well.  I can turn back the clock.  It's funny because I have been thinking about temple marriage lately.  At times when I feel the spirit I think of it and when I'm in the car alone. I would like a true companion. However one thing I think about too is a mans sex drive.  I really don't want to deal with that all the time.

I hope to find some one good, really good, someone who wants kids, loves the scriptures, who knows the gospel, loves animals too, because that is big for me, has a good job who can support me, not just financially but emotionally, wants me to develop my talents and do things I enjoy, who knows what it means to lead, and honor his priesthood.  Someone who is trying to be the best he can be, not make excuses for behavior.  I want to do those things too, to become those things.

As for the SA program here, another person who has lived other places besides here says that it THIS place is the Worst she has seen.  There are stake presidents who don't get it at all and frankly don't care.   This depresses me greatly as it feel hopeless, but I will still try.  However I really think I need to move if it continues to be like this.  

Dating Night Mare and the non- SA program.

(Previous to any of this happening, I got the idea to see the Stake President about the pathetic SA program in the area, educate him about what it could be, by showing his examples of other area) 

He was 64 and not a lawyer, but did have a PHD.  Yep- old enough to be my father.  He has a son who is 37.  To bad he's not active and hates the church because I should be dating him!  We went to a Chinese buffet and he proceeded to tell me why he wanted to go out with me- to tell me how to get a man and start having kids ASAP.

1. Ward hop.  Go up to a RS sister and ask if there are any SA men in the ward and if so could you please introduce them to me. If not give her my phone number and say  if you know of anyone please call me.
2. When I go meet them, strike up a conversation, make a connection with touch too, open myself up for a date.
3. If a man asks for a kiss on the first date do it.  He won't ask me out again if I say no.
4. If a man asks if I like sex I'm suppose to say I LOVE IT!
5. I should snuggle up to men I've never met during dances and get real close.

The whole thing was- he didn't just tell me- he showed me.  Yep- you got it, rubbing my back, my neck, my arms.  he wanted a hug, a snuggle like a dance, etc.  he told me they reason he's touching me is because of 3 reasons: 1. I need it.  2. He needs it and 3. He's showing me how it's done.  He uses a quote from Elder Scott about touching is bad when single under or on closes if it's those important parts.  He tells me all else is fine.  A little strange coming from someone I don't know at all.

Oh, he's been married 3 times.  That number shouldn't scare me- I was wife number 5.  He proceeded to tell me that 80% of divorces in the LDS church are done by women.  Our YM have been told that sex is bad.  They don't organism. (I explained that the Pew Forum says the exact opposite.)  They feel good nursing, so the baby becomes more important then the man and so on through the children.  Pretty soon, the house, the furniture, the carpet becomes more important than the man and the only thing left is the garbage and ya put that out.   He tells me I need to get the book The Act of Marriage which can be found at Deseret Book.  He just assumes I don't like or have not had good experiences in bed.  I tell him yes I have.  He disagrees.  I have told him NOTHING about my sex life, so I don't know where this idea is coming from.  I explain that OH YES I SURE DO KNOW A LOT WHEN IT COMES TO THE BEDROOM.

 I ask what about those Dr. Jackel and Mr. Hyde types.  He tells me at my age I have to take risks. He'll call me in a month when he's back in town for work and to call him if I have any questions. 

I'm left just weirded out!  Usually a date is about 2 people getting to know each other, not one of them telling the other how to find someone so they can multiply and replenish. Do I listen to his advice?  Take some of it and ward hop? Forget it and trust the Lord?  People on FB say to run like the wind.  I call a few friends and tell them the story.  I realize the next morning that what he did was disturb my peace and happiness which I had to fight for his last year and finally got it through just giving it to the Lord.  Just thinking about it gives me the shivers!  UGGG! 

 

What makes it worse is this:  Sunday an Elder Cook of the 12 was here for the west stake. I am not part of that stake, but went anyway to the Saturday adult session.  A bunch of single girls were sitting in the row ahead of me and I talked to them.  They are in a ward that is like 25 to 35.  They invite me to go the pizza party at the bishops house afterwords.  I go.  I'm hoping to see a lot of hot men to motivate me to exercise.  Lets just say I haven't exercised.  These men were HUGE.  Some of the people - the skinny ones- had kids. This ward has a nursery. 

I talk to the bishop about my age-ya I'm getting up there.  He hates having to tell the members gotta go to the family ward.  He does no tell them about the SA stuff which is mainly filled with senior citizens.   Ya, it's shocking, but that's what one has to deal with when one turns 31.  He invited me to his FHE, but I have my own.  He needs to find out what to do about his ward since the new handbook says nothing about about a 25 and up ward.  First I've heard of it.  

So their are a few pretty women, mostly size 14.  One size 5.  The men here should know about her, so they don't have to drive 7 hours to see their girl friend. This all depresses me, then the date.  

Next we have a dilemma in the Magic Valley SA FB page.  There is no LDS and no LDS people can find us. A change is made a an older women who never says anything says something- we can't do it- handbooks says no.  THAT IS LUDICROUS!   So the name was changed over and over again with in a 1/2 hour.  It was one lady who thought that we couldn't do that because of what the church has said. Of course she is wrong. I respond with some explanation of what the new handbook says, saying the twin towers have not fallen.  I said some other choice things and feel terrible because it hurt someone's feelings.  

So all these things added up and I got really upset and at times still am.  If the program was running like it was suppose to, none of this would would be happening.