This picture says some of what I'm trying to explain here. In my pattern changing class we've talked about boundaries. I've read the home work a lot, made posters for my house and have been practicing them. It's helpful. It makes life easier. Here's the information I've places on my walls.
How to Maintain Personal Boundaries:
1. Ask directly for what you want.
2. Forster inner self-nurturance
3. Observe others behavior towards you and take it as information.
4. Maintain a bottom line (how many times you'll let______________ happen)
5. Change the locus of trust from others to oneself.
Do not waste time on injustices you have no control over. Focus on goals and forget the rest.
Control of another vs. Honor of another.
Clear boundaries = freedom.
The most important things to learn from this class are:
*The bill of rights
*Boundaries
*Assertiveness
No boundaries:
- act of out compliance and compromise.
- are manipulated by flattery so that you loose objectivity.
- commit yourself as long as the other needs you. (no bottom line)
All of this has helped a lot. I've not answered phone calls, told people other ways to get help besides me and it's made a difference in how I've felt.
I got this information from these books:
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