We got the new IKEA catalog with the newspaper a few days ago and one of the pages said "BEAUTY EVERY DAY". I cut it out to motivate me to do my hair and put makeup on every day. The plan is to put in on my mirror in the bathroom. I often skip that get attractive part, mainly because 1. I like sleeping in 2. I'm lazy or running out of time, 3. I'm going to get yucky anyway and the people I take care of don't care how I look. 4. I'm not in the habit. I probably could go on with excuses, but often, especially when I have pictures taken randomly of me, I hate how they turn out. I look terrible. I'm not cute. I don't know how I've ever had men interested in me- they are so visual and all. But I really want to make the effort to do that. I want to do what I can to be attractive. I put forth a lot of effort on Sundays, on dates, (unless I'm trying to get rid of him -hehe), at dances, etc. I remember some years ago during my on-line dating phase- I had been talking to his man on the phone every other day for 3 weeks. I looked good every day- I had the motivation- and he didn't even see me! Turns out he was a bank robber and an RM. That's a fun story! But anyway, I digress.
I'm a very honest person. I'm sharing my blog with a lot of people, some who are very used to seeing me look like crap and others who aren't, but I wish it wasn't so. Sometimes even when do myself all up, I still don't look good in photos. Here's another dating story. So, my Dad finds this guy for me- in the temple- after I got un-engaged. He lived in Spokane, I lived in Cali. I sent him the best pictures of me I had. They were cute. I got a close face up shot and a full body shot. I was thinner then. I moved back to WA and we met. When we were in the car alone, he says to me something like: "You look better in person than in pictures". Holy Crap! Does the camera lie? After I got un-engaged, I went and got glamour shots to make me feel better. Ya, I look good, but I don't like them. I hide them. Someday I'll pull them out and say, "See, look how pretty your.... mommy, or grandma, or aunt was".
There are people that look so good in photos no matter what. I wish I was a person like that. I wish I could be cute every day. I wish I was thinner. But I know that wishing won't do it. I have to DO SOMETHING! So, I'm trusting all you readers who love or like me for who I am, to encourage me to be better.
I've often wondered about men. They are visual. They were created in the image of Heavenly Father (Gen 1:27). He likes beautiful things... I mean, look at this earth... it's very beautiful. Men like beautiful women. So, why didn't Heavenly Father make all us women 10's? It's disturbing! It sometimes bothers me. My only explanation is from a scripture:
1 Sam. 16: 7
But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.
I think that's the test: for men to look on the heart also, not just the outward appearance. We are, after all, trying to be like Him (Matt 5:48). Of course, I also like this scripture:
Isa. 55: 2
Wherefore do ye spend money for that which is not bread? and your labour for that which satisfieth not? hearken diligently unto me, and eat ye that which is good, and let your soul delight itself in fatness.
My soul delights in my fatness- just not anybody elses!
This hits that being fat means your righteous! I loved teasing the elders on my mission about this! :)
1 comment:
When I was single and pushing 3*, I could have told myself what I'm about to tell you and I wouldn't have believed it until I met Sean. I struggle to believe it now but the daily reinforcement helps.
The Lord did make women 10's, he just did it for a select number of men. Sean considers parts of my body and personality as incredibly attractive though I don't really see it. Frankly, you have no idea what is attractive to which guy and you'd be surprised to find out.
Just a good thought to go on. :o)
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