Friday, June 19, 2009

My Favorite Faith Scriptures

The last 2 months have been very difficult. I've cried a lot. I've been in this flat effect depression daily, hourly and nearly every minute. I've already had 2 blessings and plan on getting another. I've tried at times to ground myself in truth; in what is and not what might be, but I've struggled with not being married in a way I haven't in the last 3 years. Believe it or not I have 15 promises of marriage and a family. They are all written down. But there are moments when I want to give up, to loose faith, and to forget it all.

I recently taught seminary 4 days. I was blessed to teach Hebrews 11-13, some of my favorite New Testament scripture generally and my favorite scripture specifically about faith. I taught the juniors and seniors. I broke them up into groups of 3 and gave them a few verses and had them write every example of faith, each one on a sheet of paper. Here are a few examples:
1. Through faith we understand that the worlds were aframed by the bword of God
2. By faith aAbel offered unto God a more excellent bsacrifice than Cain,
3. By faith
aEnoch was btranslated that he should not see death (verses 3-5 not in full)

We built a 'wall of faith'. The goal of course is not have have our personal walls of faith broken down by the enemy or penetrated by doubt, fear, or any other tactic of Satan. As one idea says we should present evidences to our mind that we become unshaken. I taught this lesson before my 'difficult time'. I told the kids about my blessings and about my lack of dates. But I also told them that I believed them, that I trust the Lord.

I think one of the main reasons I'm struggling so, is because so many single friends are getting married or have gotten married. I've been to 3 sealings already. There are more to come and some I won't be invited to, but they are none-the-less happening. I'm happy for them, really I am. I know they have waited a long time too, I just don't understand why it's not me. I feel as if this summer and perhaps on will be a trial of my faith. It's a trial I wish I didn't have to go through, but that I want to pass. I'm attending the temple weekly per normal and praying in tears for blessings. But I still wait. To help with this waiting I've created a list of scriptures that I will put in my purse and post on my wall to keep my faith strong like those of ancient times. I don't want to waver for fear my desires will not be fulfilled. You can see by what I've underlined what is important to me. I'm hoping this will get me through. Here is the list:

Through faith also Sara herself received strength to conceive seed, and was delivered of a child when she was past age, because she judged him faithful who had promised. Hebrews 11:11

By faith Abraham, when he was tried offered up Isaac: and he that had received the promises offered up his only begotten son, Hebrews 11:17

Accounting that God was able to raise him up, even from the dead; from whence also he received him in a figure. Hebrews 11:19

These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth. Hebrews 11: 13

Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross; Hebrews 12: 1-2

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Jeremiah 29:11

The eyes of all wait upon thee; and thou givest them their meat in due season. Thou openest thine hand, and satisfiest the desire of every living thing. ....He will fulfill the desire of them that fear him. Psalm 145: 15-16,19


Rohan and Jenifer Shearer said...

Becky - e-mail me your e-mail address. I have something I'd like to send you. (


Christy Jones said...

I am sorry you are having a difficult time!! I loved your scriptures, funny how life doesn't turn out how we plan! I will keep you in my prayers!

Michelle said...

Becky, this is such a beautiful post. I can really relate, even though my recent trials are different. I can relate to the feeling of wondering "Why am I the one with this trial?" when there are so many around me seemingly more blessed. I love so much how you have turned to the scriptures, and I love that you share what you are learning.
That one from Hebrews 11:13 about the promises afar off has really meant a lot to me, too. I don't know what's harder--knowing that your pain will never be completely resolved in this life (as in my case), or not knowing whether it will be or not (as in yours), but I do know that one day all will be well with the Lord's covenant people.
Your words inspired me today! Thanks for what you write!

Anonymous said...

I think you will get married when you really come to Christ.