Dating Night Mare and the non- SA program.

(Previous to any of this happening, I got the idea to see the Stake President about the pathetic SA program in the area, educate him about what it could be, by showing his examples of other area) 

He was 64 and not a lawyer, but did have a PHD.  Yep- old enough to be my father.  He has a son who is 37.  To bad he's not active and hates the church because I should be dating him!  We went to a Chinese buffet and he proceeded to tell me why he wanted to go out with me- to tell me how to get a man and start having kids ASAP.

1. Ward hop.  Go up to a RS sister and ask if there are any SA men in the ward and if so could you please introduce them to me. If not give her my phone number and say  if you know of anyone please call me.
2. When I go meet them, strike up a conversation, make a connection with touch too, open myself up for a date.
3. If a man asks for a kiss on the first date do it.  He won't ask me out again if I say no.
4. If a man asks if I like sex I'm suppose to say I LOVE IT!
5. I should snuggle up to men I've never met during dances and get real close.

The whole thing was- he didn't just tell me- he showed me.  Yep- you got it, rubbing my back, my neck, my arms.  he wanted a hug, a snuggle like a dance, etc.  he told me they reason he's touching me is because of 3 reasons: 1. I need it.  2. He needs it and 3. He's showing me how it's done.  He uses a quote from Elder Scott about touching is bad when single under or on closes if it's those important parts.  He tells me all else is fine.  A little strange coming from someone I don't know at all.

Oh, he's been married 3 times.  That number shouldn't scare me- I was wife number 5.  He proceeded to tell me that 80% of divorces in the LDS church are done by women.  Our YM have been told that sex is bad.  They don't organism. (I explained that the Pew Forum says the exact opposite.)  They feel good nursing, so the baby becomes more important then the man and so on through the children.  Pretty soon, the house, the furniture, the carpet becomes more important than the man and the only thing left is the garbage and ya put that out.   He tells me I need to get the book The Act of Marriage which can be found at Deseret Book.  He just assumes I don't like or have not had good experiences in bed.  I tell him yes I have.  He disagrees.  I have told him NOTHING about my sex life, so I don't know where this idea is coming from.  I explain that OH YES I SURE DO KNOW A LOT WHEN IT COMES TO THE BEDROOM.

 I ask what about those Dr. Jackel and Mr. Hyde types.  He tells me at my age I have to take risks. He'll call me in a month when he's back in town for work and to call him if I have any questions. 

I'm left just weirded out!  Usually a date is about 2 people getting to know each other, not one of them telling the other how to find someone so they can multiply and replenish. Do I listen to his advice?  Take some of it and ward hop? Forget it and trust the Lord?  People on FB say to run like the wind.  I call a few friends and tell them the story.  I realize the next morning that what he did was disturb my peace and happiness which I had to fight for his last year and finally got it through just giving it to the Lord.  Just thinking about it gives me the shivers!  UGGG! 

 

What makes it worse is this:  Sunday an Elder Cook of the 12 was here for the west stake. I am not part of that stake, but went anyway to the Saturday adult session.  A bunch of single girls were sitting in the row ahead of me and I talked to them.  They are in a ward that is like 25 to 35.  They invite me to go the pizza party at the bishops house afterwords.  I go.  I'm hoping to see a lot of hot men to motivate me to exercise.  Lets just say I haven't exercised.  These men were HUGE.  Some of the people - the skinny ones- had kids. This ward has a nursery. 

I talk to the bishop about my age-ya I'm getting up there.  He hates having to tell the members gotta go to the family ward.  He does no tell them about the SA stuff which is mainly filled with senior citizens.   Ya, it's shocking, but that's what one has to deal with when one turns 31.  He invited me to his FHE, but I have my own.  He needs to find out what to do about his ward since the new handbook says nothing about about a 25 and up ward.  First I've heard of it.  

So their are a few pretty women, mostly size 14.  One size 5.  The men here should know about her, so they don't have to drive 7 hours to see their girl friend. This all depresses me, then the date.  

Next we have a dilemma in the Magic Valley SA FB page.  There is no LDS and no LDS people can find us. A change is made a an older women who never says anything says something- we can't do it- handbooks says no.  THAT IS LUDICROUS!   So the name was changed over and over again with in a 1/2 hour.  It was one lady who thought that we couldn't do that because of what the church has said. Of course she is wrong. I respond with some explanation of what the new handbook says, saying the twin towers have not fallen.  I said some other choice things and feel terrible because it hurt someone's feelings.  

So all these things added up and I got really upset and at times still am.  If the program was running like it was suppose to, none of this would would be happening. 

Dating Options

I just got back from a FHE I hosted at a park in town.  I look around at the SA there, young, old, with kids, with out kids and then there's the dysfunctions- addictions, ex-communicated.

This weekend I went out of town for a SA conference and a gentleman asked for my phone number and to take me out to dinner.  He works for the Bureau of Land Management or the BLM as they call it here and the judiciary system- so he's a lawyer.  He comes to Twin Falls once a month. He has 7 kids, 21 grand kids and 10 step grand kids! He also just bought 10 acres in Star Idaho. I suppose that means he has money.  I think; "what are you doing asking me out?" Hello, you know I don't have children!  He told me I was intelligent and cute.  My friend Beverly says men always want the younger women.

But after tonight I think, what the heck- go for the old guys.  They can pay off my debt my ex can't seem to be man enough to take care that is really his and we can travel.  I do not feel old enough to play grandma to kids yet though. They can just call me Becky.

I guess they call that a "sugar daddy."

Foo Fighters

FYI: the band Foo Fighters do not sing the song 'every body's kung-fu-fighting'

Around noon yesterday I was invited to see the Foo Fighters in concert that night at the Key Arena in Seattle. I had heard the name often, but was not sure what songs they sang. I was told it was "rock n' roll'. I like rock n' roll. But... my dates definition of rock n' roll and mine, we learned at the end of the evening, are very different. I soon figured out that this band is one of those screaming, usually can't understand the lyrics, hair swirling, head shaking, bands. Most of the members were in black. While a few songs were familiar, it's not something I listen to. I was a little worried at first about enjoying myself. But, my ever so smart date brought us both ear plugs. That was brilliant! It blocked out the noise of my own clapping, and the noise of the crowd, but we could still hear the music- which was mostly guitar and drums. When we first put them in, I asked my date a question and he proceeded to answer me. I thought he was moving his mouth, but with no sounds to tease me. He wasn't teasing. We had to take our ear plugs out to speak, they worked that well.

The band of course started and these are some of the things that went through my head: The spirit is not going to be here. How do people get so off the path of normal living to dress and act like this, to think this is music. My dad would call it "infernal noise". Thy are so off the path of righteousness. Why are men so drawn to this music? Ok, so obviously, the arena is not just men, so it's women too. There are so many bands like this, how does society pick which ones succeed? They all sound the same. Is it talent? Is it lyrics? Is it attractiveness? It is luck, is it being in the right place at the right time? Is it knowing someone?

Now, lest I sound like I didn't like it at all, I did like some of the songs and some of the things the band did, like having a whole platform of instruments on a circle, come out of the sky and them walking to it and playing acoustic. I liked one of the slow songs and of course, bobbed my head and other body parts to the music. He lead singer, who used to be the drummer for Nirvana had a foul mouth, but was also funny. He had lived in Tacoma- "beautiful city", he said. He had lived in Olympia-"great night life!" he told us. It would be a hard choice: Paris or Olympia? After leaving the stage, they came back out and did an encore of course. They showed on the 4 screens him debating how many songs he should do. One? Two? Three? Four? Five? They all came back out, told a funny story and played 5 songs.

My date's opinion is that, that is rock 'n roll. My opinion is that rock 'n roll is a spectrum. There's soft rock, classic rock, and hard rock. I like soft and most classic, and even a few hard rock songs- usually the ballads. He didn't think Foo Fighters was hard rock. I think it's on the edge of it. Either way, I had a good time with him and at the concert and had an experience I wouldn't have had on my own. Thanks date (hehe).

The Field is White and CTR

I was talking to a friend of mine commiserating about men we had a dates with, but who are "Playing the Field". I came up with this from Sec 4 of the Doctrine and Covenants.

Behold, the field is white, already to harvest, and Lo, He that thrustest in his cycle with his might will have to buy lots of dinners and will inadvertently disappoint many women when they don't call back.

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints we teach our children very young to "choose the right". We give them rings to remember to act like the Savior would have them act. I have a gold one that I've been wearing since I was 19. Sometimes we also like to make up other things that mean CTR. Here are a few.

Chase the Rich (Steve Elder)
Current Temple Recommend. (My brother Karl)
Circumcise the Russians (me, during the cold war)
Can't trust Rob (specifically for Shelly)