Four for Friday???

Discoveries

I've discovered that I don't like those shirts that button up the front with collars.  They don't compliment my face and my hair cut.

I also discovered that I can't fit into pants my size because of my over fat stomach.  Not good.  So last night at a potluck, I didn't have cake or cookies and at home I didn't have ice cream. Baby steps.

I don't like male attention from men who just want to talk about other women.  No thank you, please.  

Dating 

I'm not dating and that is fine.  But I did find this web sight: www.itsyourtechnique.com.  Alisa is considered Utah's Dating Coach and I've liked what she has to say.  There are free articles to read or listen to and some to buy.  You can also email her and she will help.  I emailed her about my date with Mr. 64.  This is what she had to say:

He is so narcissistic. 

Run and never talk to him again. 

What a creep and manipulator.

On the side of my small tower I have these words of advice from her: 

I can choose to be right or effective 

I'm buying my experiences both good and bad. (with the universal currency of Energy, Emotions, Time, Thought, and Money  

Goals: 

1. Be more friendly
2. Be positive 
3. Less contentious 
4. Less judging and gossiping 

While I have done some of these 4 things lately due to learning the hard way, I want to gossip here for a minute.  

Single Adults 

The single adult group here is strange. I've been angry about it.  I have to leave the state to get away from Jason and this is what I come to?  UGGG!  But I'm learning to except it.  


So here's who I hang out with: 

3 women who have taken off their garments.  One who does not pray. 
1 man who is addicted to porn although he is getting help. 
1 man who is overweight
1 man who is likes to give me a hard time a lot and lies, but is "honest about his lies"  (eye roll) 
3 who have been excommunicated (2 men, 1 woman) 
1 woman who has a mental illness and has meddled in everyone's life, been easily offended, has poor hygiene, and is wines about not having had a date for 6 years. 
1 non-member who is Latino
1 widowed lady who has to comment on ANYTHING anyone says on FB or in person, tries to play mother, in charge person, and is just plain annoying.  Is to sickly sweet to know any better. 
1 widowed lady who is my friend, who is pretty cool.  We talk almost daily. 
A few random people who are good quality, but who rarely show up.   


Add that to only 2 free dinners a month that is HIGHLY populated with senior citizens and you can see my dilemma!   It's enough to make a girl want to move, but I don't feel the push to do so. So I stay till I do feel the push.  I must have something to learn or something to give to his area.  Ug!  

Turning 40 

Yep- the big FOUR ZERO.  I was in Rexburg for education week at BYU-Idaho when it happened and for some reason I was having negative memories of my marriage and of the SA program here.  The 2 days previous were not like that.


I thought I'd throw myself a party here, but then who are my real friends? I bagged it.  My family wished me Happy Birthday, but no cake, gifts ext.  That's OK. I wasn't expecting anything and it was a good thing because I got nothing. Beverley gave me a cute bag, shirt and a few other things.  My only gifts.  I don't really need gifts to make me feel special, just time spent with me, acknowledging my presence in this world.  Beverly also took me out to dinner at Sonic for burgers and shakes. 


I thought of blogging about 40 good things about me, my life,  or 40 bad things about my life.  So glad I didn't do either.  While yes- in emotional moments I think, say, know my life has been a HUGE disappointment.  I can't foccus on that though or I'll be a crying mess.  

Something funny happened last night at a pot luck.  At 24 year old kid on a bicycle in cowboy clothes with a huge belt buckle came riding up at the end.  He told me I was a "pretty young lady".  I thought that was funny due to my age.  I asked him to guess my age.  He wouldn't so I told him. He of course told me I don't look it.  Interesting that I've gotten more compliments as I have aged and especially after leaving Jason. Hmmmm...  things that make you go... 

It's 64 or 24....  can't I just find a 44 year old? 

The Man List

“You can't ask for what you want unless you know what it is. A lot of people don't know what they want or they want much less than they deserve. First you have figure out what you want. Second, you have to decide that you deserve it. Third, you have to believe you can get it. And, fourth, YOU HAVE TO HAVE THE GUTS TO ASK FOR IT.” -Barbara De Angelis

Gotta Have

• Education- bachelor degree

• Family focus- babies perhaps

• Gospel knowledge

• Testimony and love of the scriptures

• Current Temple Recommend

• A handle on money:  savings account, lives within means, knows difference between needs and wants, has a $ plan of the future, has a retirement. 

• Knows how to solve problems 

• Loves all animals, especially dogs. 

• Commandment keeper 
• Understand and lives section 121 
• Desire for Righteousness- to follow the Savior and be faithful to the gospel at all costs. 

Needs to Have

• Social skills, 

• Clean mouth

• Listening skills 

• A good job

• Lets me read and study 

• Lets me do the things I enjoy doing

• Encourages me to develop my talents, helps me to be better. 

• Kindness  
• Honesty to himself and others about who he is and where he is at in life
• Maturity- not worried about his body, being cool, what others think about him, but about eternal things. 
• Sense of humor, makes me laugh 
• Knows how to make decisions, receive revelation and follow through regardless of how difficult it is.

Would be Nice 

• Fix it and built it skills

• A home he owns

• No debt 
• Likes to travel 
• musical- piano, singing? 

Deal Breakers 

• Intense anger

• Throwing, breaking things 

• Easily offended 

• Can't take the truth 

• Manipulative

• Reviles back

• Will not turn the other cheek

• Addictions. 
• Controlling