I've written on my blog a few times about my Basset Hound Sam. Well, 2 days after thanksgiving I had him put down. He was miserable and could barely get himself up, with his one leg, stomach, penis, testicles all swollen. He was also skin and bones. You could see his ribs. He only weighed 44 LBS and when I got him it was more like
65 LBS.
Oh, it was hard. I agonized for weeks about it, often sobbing. I'd make up my mind to do it, and then come home to him and just couldn't. He kept going down hill and his personality kept waining with each day. He still wanted to be a dog, to go on walks, to visit his dog friend Jackie, down the street, but he just couldn't. So, twice I took him to the Humane Society of Seattle, that is just a mile from us, to be put to sleep. Well, the first day they weren't doing it. I cried picking him up, placing him in the car and then when I brought him home I cried again. I had spent the whole morning with him.
The next day it really happened. One minute your looking into those big brown eyes that just love you, wishing you could make it better for him, and keep him and then they bring him out in a towel still warm, but not breathing.
My home teacher had dug the grave the week before, so I drove the car down to the grave, placed him in there and mom and I covered him up.
I did some nice things for Sam before he had to go, like taking him around in a wheel barrow around the neighborhood, for one of his last walks and driving him to see Jackie, a bigger dog. The 2 of them love each other. Jackie never comes out when It's raining, but when she saw Sam she did and when Sam saw her, his tail just went in circles. That's the happiest wag for him.
I took lots of pictures that last week and when I got them back I could see how sick he really was. Perhaps I should of put him out of his misery earlier, but my heart just couldn't do it. Here are some sick pictures and some healthy ones. I love that dog. We had a special relationship, we really did. I will miss so many things about him.
I will miss: him barking and barking when I come home. When I come home and he's out side and I go on the deck and call for him. He looks up and barks and just runs to come inside to see me. I will miss watching him run. His mouth, ears, and neck flopps and it can be really beautiful, like a ballet. He bounces and can be quite agile chasing after squarals and then when he realises he's not going to get him swirve still in a run. You'd think a dog built like that couldn't go it. I will miss watching him get up on the couch. I will miss him spreading his whole body out width wise on the bed, so I have no room to sleep. I will miss him moving to my pillow and space, so he can be closer to my smell, when I get up in the morning. I will miss the spirts he went through preteneding he can't climb the stairs to get to my bed. I'd have to get him started by placing his front feet and the first step and then coaxing him up. He's so silly! I will miss him barking at me when I was on the compture, because he wanted my attention. He finally just came and laid in the room with me. I will miss him laying on his back, belly up, with his tail thumping asking for a rub, which he wanted constantly. I will miss him snuggling up to pillows and to people. I will miss the ways he laid down; like a jelly bean, like a rug with legs stuck out both ways. I will miss him dripping water from his ears after he drank, because his ears always got in the bowl too. I will miss him putting his mouth completely to the floor and barking to let us know he wanted outside. I will miss him demanding people food every night and then realizing when he wasn't going to get it, go eat his dog food. I will miss taking his ears and rolling them up, or makeing them like a burrito, or scrunching them up, or grabbing them with his skin under his neck and talking to him. I will miss doing that and him pulling away because he wants to go outside, not attention. I will miss that he wants to be friends with everyone. I will miss that he let me pick him up and hug him how ever I wanted. I will miss that I could roll him over on his other side with his legs. I will miss him letting me clean out his ears. I will miss watching him lift his leg to pee, even though his penis was the closest thing to the ground besides his feet. I will miss him them taking his usual step and his foot landing right in his pee puddle. I will miss him coming to see where I am when I'm in the shower or the bathroom and him laying down waiting for me outside the door, or in the room. I will miss when I get out and he knows I'm going to the next bathroom so he heads there before I make it.I will miss him laying on his back, with his legs in the air and his body all twisted like an S on the couch. I will not miss him getting into the garbage, opening up cubbords with his nose, or getting stuff off the cubbards to find food to eat. I will miss all the noises he makes- he talks. I will just miss hugging him. That's a lot of missing. I miss you Sammy!
I'm sorry for your loss Becky. I still remember taking the cat I grew up with into the humane society to be put to sleep. The look he gave me when he went behind the doors is still with me and, frankly, I STILL miss him. My heart goes out to you.
ReplyDeleteWe miss Sam too! We have Chloe and Maggie today because of Sam! I even called them Sam yesterday, it made me sad. I can't see your pictures. I'd love to see all the pictures of Sammy!
ReplyDeleteI am sorry for your loss Becky! I can tell you really loved him!
ReplyDelete