Babies; their not what they are cracked up to be.

Once again my job will be changing. Friday the 11 is my last day with Aditya, the cute little energizer bunny boy with acid-reflux and a swallowing disorder. I will miss him. We are attached. I love that little kid! He's such a happy guy. I feel sorry for him, to loose someone he's attached to and have to get used to some one else, who's not as cool as me. He's also somewhat attached to Niha, they do play together, if she's not crying and he's not trying to sit on her.

I'll still have the pain in the butt baby, Niha. She's an emotional wreck. She has extreme separation anxiety. When I walk around the corner, even though she can hear me speaking, she cries. A few weeks ago she was in this 'I'm only happy if your holding me phase'. She would scream all day long. Any time she cries, it's big tears and boom, if you pick her up she stops in a second. I was able to wean her off that by only picking her up when she stopped. Day by day it she's figured it out and had fun playing instead of crying. Now, she's in this worried mode. If I get up, she makes squeaks. She usually falls asleep on my and is so hyper sensitive to movement, that if I make a move she will grasp on to me tighter afraid I'll put her down. She does this when she's asleep, so needless to say, she sleeps on me for 1/2 hour only. Today I was walking around from the living room to the kitchen, which is an open space, cleaning up and she was fussing, even though she could see my every move. Once I sat down on the floor, she was fine- that's our improvement from being held all the time. She cries if I pay too much attention to Aditya, She cries if I'm talking to long to Aditya's mom. She's frustrating. She also fights eating- she will constantly dodge the spoon filled with baby food. I practically have to put her in a head lock to get her to eat. Today I used a syringe and that worked much easier. Everything is a fight.

My job satisfaction is low. I can't get out of the house. There's no taking the kids to the park, playing in the sprinkler when it's sunny, going to the zoo. It's just naps, feedings, and diapers. So much for a fun summer.

Just a few items I've learned. Mothering is for the young. Breast milk breaks down baby food, rice cereal, so that if the combination is lumpy in 30 min it will be like milk. I can pee and hold a baby at the same time. I can hold a bottle and change a diaper almost 100% with one hand. I can feed 2 babies, one in each arm, or one in an arm, one standing up. I can let a baby cry for an hour. Oh- the things I can do... the list could go on and on and on.

I will be looking for another job through an agency that pays me what I'm worth. Sometimes I just want to forget this whole family thing. A husband sure, but kids- ahhhh! and that's coming from the girl who's been doing pretty much that since she was a teenager. Thank goodness for a social life!