My Favorite Things

Burnt Toast and Spilled Ink

2012-02-11T00:02:00.000-08:00

Here are a few of my small trauma's of just this last week.

It was time for some new black ink. Found the local 'cartridge world' in my town of 44K. Had it refilled. Brought it home. Changed from my black pants into my pink plaid flannel pajamas and opened the ink up. It promptly spilled all over my hands and of course my pink PJ's.

Next day I bring it back. The ink people clean my hands with alcohol, and give me a new one. I go home, open it up and it promptly spills, this time just on my hand- the other hand.

I go back again, thinking I'm going to ask for my money back and go somewhere else. I'm told it's just that it comes all the way from the east and so there's air and not that much ink as been lost. He puts 2 layers of tape over it and I bring it home. I have every intention of putting it in the printer, but lets face it, I'm apprehensive. I wait 2 days, open it up and see that this time it's spilled inside the plastic bag and just a finger is black. AHHHH! You have got to be kidding me!

Third time a charm isn't convincing me. I'm getting my money back!

Sunday I decide to make grilled cheese sandwiches. I did. Then I got on the computer and forgot. I remembered when it was everlastingly too late. The place in Bellevue I lived had an OVER SENSITIVE smoke alarm. The fan's permanent home was on top of the fridge as close to the detector as possible so when it went off, all we had to do was plug it in. Here there is no smoke detectors. I remembered and there was smoking filling the kitchen and my grilled cheese was as black as I'd ever seen before in my life! I don't think even my dad would of eaten this one!

Lessons? Maybe call your landlord and have them put a smoke detector in. Maybe don't leave the stove when your cooking? It will probably take an explosion for me to learn that one. As far as the ink goes- screw recycling and saving money and just get what you need. The earth will be renewed and receive it's paradisaical glory anyway! (see Article of Faith # 10)

Black is beautiful, but this is ridiculous!

A Praying Bishop

2012-02-09T17:49:00.000-08:00

It was a little over 3 months ago that I learned I really needed to get a roommate or make 800 dollars more a month. I picked getting a roommate. I advertised on Craigs list and since I was asking for 2 things ( must love dogs and no smoking) and I was pretty desperate I said minimal drinking. Something I never would of allowed, or even thought of at all. I had 2 interested but once they learned I was LDS, I didn't hear from them again.

Then I told every one in Relief Society that I was looking and would allow this and I couldn't believe I was saying some drinking was OK. Everyone got a good laugh. However the bishops wife I'm sure came and told her husband what I had said and as I learned later in our next meeting he'd been praying I find a LDS girl to live with me. He knew I needed positive people around me, not more stress.

Before that last meeting I was driving on a longer trip and the thought came to my head out of the blue to just ask on Craigs List for LDS standards. Sure, OK, why not. Idaho is 27% LDS. So I did and within a few days- boom, I got a call. Yentle came over and wanted to move it. She is an RM, 26 and very busy. After her leaving I got an email asking about it too, and later, even weeks later I got emails about the room. All from LDS girls. Yentle didn't move in for another month and others I'm sure could of moved in sooner, but first come first serve is the nice thing to do. It's only been a few days, but things are going well. We don't see each other a lot, but she likes the dogs and the dogs like her. I don't have to worry about anything else!

It went down like this: I had a need and let everyone know about it. Word got to the right person, who prayed for the right thing. His praying caused a thought to be placed in my mind and I excepted it. I tested it out and it happened! Pretty cool, how prayer can work.

Best Practices

2012-02-07T19:45:00.000-08:00

Remember when we were kids and loved to hear the same book read to us over and over again?

Best Practices? I'm talking educationally here. I've been in 3 different schools the past few months and seen 2 different reading programs in the elementary schools, each a little different with one big similarity. That sameness is in reading the same passage or story over and over and over again.

With "read naturally", student are hooked up to a computer with ear phones and read as fast as they can a short passage about someone or something. They have vocabulary they look at before and need to know afterwords with a test. The kids are motivated by it, because it's on a computer and they get to pick the story. The room is full of noise with kids reading out loud, each a different story. It's about fluency, phonics and vocab, but what I saw with the girl I watched was speeding through it so fast, she missed words. This is my only experience with it, so I may not be the best judge and I didn't really do much with the other kids in the room.

The school I'm in now uses a text book and they read one story a week. Every day they read it. The first day the teacher reads it to them, the second day in groups, they read paragraphs, the next day maybe sentences, etc. They are taught the vocabulary before they read it and the words are highlighted in the book. For second graders it's only 5 to 6 words. Time is spend each day orally with the vocab, acting it out, coming up with sentences, defining it, etc. A worksheet with a reading theme- cause and effect, summarizing, etc is used daily on a small scale.

I prefer the second method. It's not about how fast you go, but it is about fluency.

This second school that I mentioned, also does AR or Accelerated Reader and Accelerated Math. A lot of schools all over the country and world do these computer programs. G, who I'm working with now who hated math last year loves filling in those pink college bubble sheets, putting it through the scanner and seeing the results.

Best practices also say that words are learned best in context, not randomly. Both programs do this.

Those Noisy Neighbors!

2012-02-04T22:40:00.000-08:00

My neighbors are not really noisy. In fact the couple that share the other side of the duplex are deaf. They have their hearing son that lives with them too and a daughter who is fighting for her life with cancer. They love Coco so it's really nice. The house across the street from me is empty. To the other side of me is these guys. A group of Mallard Ducks that are nesting and swimming. Sometimes I can hear them quack, see them swim and fly away when they think Coco might get to them. I love all animals, so this is very cool for me, not a problem at all. One time I saw a bunch of females nesting and a black cat on the other side laying down just watching them.

See that brown roof on the right hand side of the bottom picture. That's where I live!

Taking Care of Sacred Things

2012-02-04T15:26:00.000-08:00

I came up with a saying on my own the other day:

Who needs Martha when you have

Of course I mean Martha Stewart. If you haven't heard of Pinterest, it's an online place to 'pin" all the things your interested in. It's like a digital cork board. Instead of clipping pictures from magazines or printing out ideas and trying to figure out where to put them and never finding them when you do need them, you can do it online and it's always there. "Boards" or categories can be created by you. I have over 50 now. You can follow people to see what they are pinning. It's great fun and takes up a lot of time. At first I liked it better than Facebook, but it's taking up SO much of my time- I mean hours!

I'd let myself skip scriptures, ignore dishes and even the dogs. Not good. One night I did read or skimmed my Book Of Mormon and found Alma 37: 47 which says this.

And now, my son, see that ye take care of these sacred things, yea, see that ye look to God and live. Go unto this people and declare the word, and be sober. My son, farewell.

What stuck out to me? "take care of these sacred things." Surely the scriptures are sacred and I for sure wasn't taking care of them the way I should be. Also "look to God and live". I don't think this living just means for the next life, but for this earth life too. Was I living? Not really. I was ignoring life all around me, and for sure I needed clean clothes and dishes to live. I wasn't looking to God as I ought. All these things cause me to live and yet, I put these sacred things aside. God's house is a house of order. He does not dwell in confusion or a mess. I needed to "put first things first," to decide what was "good, better or best", or what was "essential, necessary, or nice." Pinterest is under the nice things to do. Revelation and peace is had by scripture study and is an essential.

While I still spend time on Pinterest, I think my motto needs to be:

Who needs Pinterest when you have life to live and sacred things to take care of!

A Stake President and Martins Cove

2012-01-29T13:05:00.000-08:00

Last Sunday our Stake President gave a fireside for the Relief Society. While he and another woman shared some things, when he started talking about Martin's Cove paying attention because I have been there with my parents and my uncle and aunt went on a mission there.

There were saints to left to late in the summer and suffered and died from starvation and cold as they pushed and pulled hard carts to Zion. Martin's Cove is where they found some refuge from the blizzard. They were saved because Brigham Young told the brethren there in SLC to "go and bring them in". Now families and youth groups can reenact this trek for a day or days.

Last summer the youth in my stake went and walked this trek. The stake president did it with them. He showed us pictures of him hugging the youth, and told us this story:

When they started this journey there at the visitor center the kids had the name of a real person who had started on that journey. Some of them lived and some of them died. They started by singing the song about all the Pioneer's "Come, Come Ye Saints" . When they got to the line that says this: "and should be die, before our journey's through, happy day, all is well" those boys and girls who had the names of those who died left the group and stood away off. I can imagine it being a pretty emotional thing to see that.

When they all got back together again, the Stake president hugged a young man and told him he was great, then he grabbed a young woman, gave her a hug and told her what she was good at. He continue to do that to each and every one of those young men and women. The president said, he felt like a patriarch, because the could tell them something about each one of them, about their talents, what they could do in the future. Of course the group kept walking, kept marching and when they got to Martin's cove, he sat down on the bench and was just pondering, thinking, taking it all in when the words "President, you know you'll loose some of them", came to him and he wept like he never had before.

He then talked to us about Enoch's witnessing the Savior weep for his children, the workmanship of his hands and the chain that Satan had wrapped around the world.

At the end of the fireside he pronounced a blessing on the women.

- to the single sisters, that they will have a witness of their self-worth.
- to the mothers in Zion that they will have a larger capacity of love, that their home will be shielded as they immerse themselves in the scriptures, the prophets and prayer.

-to those who have lost loved ones who have been faithful will understand peace in their hearts and in only a short time they will be with the ones they have lost.

What a wonderful Stake President!

Healing the Wounded Soul

2012-01-23T20:12:00.000-08:00

The last 2 years have been some of the hardest of my life. I'm used to studying the scriptures- really studying them, digging in, but sad to say I've gone through spurts where I've tried to go it alone, meaning I haven't turned to God as much as I should. For me studying the scriptures, any of the 4 standard works are helpful bringing in the spirit or teaching me how to respond to life, but The Book of Mormon especially does that. It even says so in the book!

Jacob 2: 8 And it supposeth me that they have come up hither to hear the pleasing ^aword of God, yea, the word which healeth the wounded soul.

Jacob is a VERY righteous man. In fact he, like many other prophets in the Old and New Testament, The Doctrine and Covenants, the Pearl of Great Price and of course The Book of Mormon had actually SEEN the Savior of the world, even Jesus Christ. (link above brings you to the list of those who have seen and talked to him from all 4 books)

Jacob is talking to his people and wants to give them good news, but he needs to call them to repentance instead of bringing them the the pleasing word of God to feast upon. This is what he says in vs. 9:

Wherefore, it burdeneth my soul that I should be constrained, because of the strict commandment which I have received from God, to ^aadmonish you according to your crimes, to enlarge the wounds of those who are already wounded, instead of consoling and healing their wounds; and those who have not been wounded, instead of feasting upon the pleasing word of God have daggers placed to pierce their souls and wound their delicate minds.

One week I was overwhelmed with my life and everything I needed to do and then everything I wanted to do and I thought maybe I need to cut down on the scripture study and only do it on the weekends. Oh, what a silly thought! One night soon after that I read Jacob chapter 2 and realized how wrong I was. Instead of dropping my scripture reading to almost nothing I need to drop other things. If anyone needed healing it was me.

Reading the scriptures for me is like being healed. Wouldn't it be wonderful to have the Master himself reach out and touch you? The Book of Mormon can do that. If I'm really immersing myself they do that for me. I go to bed thankful for the gospel of Jesus Christ, thankful that I have it, that I know and understand it. If for even just a short while my mind is put to rest or brought to higher things, the book has done at least part of what it's suppose to do. It's done that for me, over and over again. It could do that for you too. Feast upon the pleasing word of God and let it heal your soul!

Do you want to learn more? Hop over to Jocelyn's Book of Mormon blog hop and read how the book has helped others!

Others Posts #1

2012-01-23T11:05:00.000-08:00

I'm gonna try something new. I read a lot of blogs that are really great and I think others need to know about them. I'll let you know about my favorites once a week.

1. I said a few weeks ago on Facebook, that Pinterest was like doing missionary work if you have non-members that 'follow' you, because they see the LDS ideas you are posting as well as the quotes from church leaders. We'll Jocelyn over at We talk of Christ, We Rejoice in Christ had a great idea. Pictures that lead directly to The Proclamation on the Family. http://beinglds.blogspot.com/2012/01/family-proclamation-images.html

2. I started reading "the R house" in 2008. It's a blog about adoption. Why the interest? I can't adopt. I don't have the money and I believe that a child is "entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony" Children deserve and need both a mother and a father. I can't give both. I have friends who struggle with infertility, who have lost babies. What draws me is people who like and yet not like my situation want something that is good, that they have planned for their entire lives and yet can't of their own will get it! Recently this family had a failed placement. The mom decided to parent. This post and the one preceding it explains how they dealt with it. I read it and just sat there and remembered again why I read this blog. Why I have the connection I do with all families wanting children. They should have them. More than a single woman should have them. http://www.therhouse.com/disneyland-is-a-magical-place/ (sorry, no fun picture, go there anyway)

3. While I have seen many people parent, mother, etc. This woman asked for advice and 70 women responded! Many said "listen to the Spirit" or "follow your motherly intuition". But others gave books that have helped. Some LDS and other not. This is her post and the responses. I also suggest you read her post on the 20th. In her career she is replaceable, but as a mother she is not! http://www.theredheadedhostess.com/most-popular/another-baby-question/

4. The theme for the YW and YM for 2012 is "Arise and Shine Forth". This lady made wands for the girls. I thought it was so cute. If I were a girl I would want one. http://inkablinka.com/2012/01/arise-and-shine-wands.html

5. Need ideas for the RS birthday coming up? Go here: http://womeninthescriptures.blogspot.com/2012/01/five-things-for-friday-29th-edition.html

6. Mormon mash up: Cold Play and the Priesthood videos watched together! http://beinglds.blogspot.com/2012/01/mormon-mash-up-cold-play-replay.html

7. When Wilford Woodruff had his vision of the founding fathers who came asking for their temple work to be done, there were others as well. Wilford called them Eminent. This is about the women. A painting was recently created and videos about each one. http://sethadamsmith.blogspot.com/2012/01/eminent-women-of-st-george-temple.html

I think that's a good start, don't you? There are so many more. I invite you to peruse the others on my blog list!

How Christ is the Father

2012-01-22T13:05:00.000-08:00

Most the Christian world believes in the trinity that states that The Father,The Son and The Holy Ghost are one in essence- with no body- a trinity. Mormons do not follow Historical Christianity, but Biblical and Revealed Christianity. We know through prophets who give us revelation through the Lord himself that they are 3 distinct individuals. The first revelation was to Joseph Smith when he SAW God The Father and his Son Jesus Christ. As the Father did on the Mount of Transfiguration and at the Baptism of Jesus the Father introduced his Son and let him do the rest of the speaking.

There is no where in the Bible that resembles the doctrine of the trinity. As I read the New Testament I mark to the side of the verse, the number 2 and 3, each time separate beings are mentioned. Try it sometime. You'll be surprised how often it is in there.

Mormons believe and know that the Father, Son and Holy Ghost are one in purpose, not in body. They each have a roll to play. However there are ways in which the Christ is a Father, our Father and The Book of Mormon explains this.

Mosiah, a king in The Book Of Mormon explains it this way. From ch 5:

7 And now, because of the covenant which ye have made ye shall be called the ^achildren of Christ, his sons, and his daughters; for behold, this day he hath spiritually begotten you; for ye say that your hearts are ^bchanged through faith on his name; therefore, ye are ^cborn of him and have become his ^dsons and his daughters.

We are his children, he is our father through the covenant we make with him. As we have faith on his name he changes us and we are born of him spiritually.

Nephi, a prophet early on in the Book of Mormon also teaches us another way how Christ is our Father. In 2 Nephi 25:

12 But, behold, they shall have ^awars, and rumors of wars; and when the day cometh that the ^bOnly Begotten of the Father, yea, even the Father of heaven and of earth, shall ^cmanifest himself unto them in the flesh, behold, they will reject him, because of their iniquities, and the hardness of their hearts, and the stiffness of their necks.

We know through this and other sacred scripture that the Father had the plan, the blueprint if you will for the creation of the earth, but it was the Savior who carried out the plan and did all the work. He is the Father of heaven and earth. Heaven meaning the sky around us.

I testify that The Book of Mormon is the revealed word of God. It is scripture. I have read every word of the book over and over again and I know for myself, it is true!

A Caldwell Christmas

2012-01-20T20:48:00.000-08:00

Down town Caldwell Idaho during Christmas

I know this is late, but I wanted to share these pictures I took. Caldwell is the town to the west of Nampa. They have a very nice light display. It's not Temple Square, but it's fun. Mom, Mark, Holly, Willy, Andy, Annie and I went on Christmas Eve to see. I didn't bring my camera so had to come back.

A tunnel to go under!

The grapes remind me of the Bellevue Botanical Gardens at Christmas.

I loved the blue tree with the flag on top. It's massive!

One of my favorites- the bears decorating the tree!

I loved the variety of colors- purple, pink, red, green, blue, white, yellow, orange.

It really was something to see!

I loved the Winnie the Pooh theme too.

You can walk across the bridge. They had the lights moving in succession so it looked like a waterfall.

The reflection on the water was nice too.

This time I took the dogs, both on a leash and with my camera. The dogs got the hang of standing still and waiting while I took the picture. I took the picture of a family in front of the big blue tree and they took mine with the dogs in front of this little snowman. I'll definitely go back next year.

Changing Yokes

2012-01-19T21:30:00.000-08:00

I read D&C: 59:23 two nights ago.

The scripture says this:

But learn that he who doeth the works of ^arighteousness shall receive his ^breward, even ^cpeace in this world, and ^deternal life in the world to come.

It caught my eye because of the peace in this world and in the next. Life is so much easier when we have peace! One obtains it by doing the works of righteousness! I think Christ has one title with Righteousness in it. I don't think it can be just "good things" although that surly would make life better than not doing good things, but that's a post for another day.

I followed footnote C to Matthew 11: 28-30.

28 ¶^aCome unto me, all ye that ^blabour and are heavy laden, and I will give you ^crest.
29 Take my ^ayoke upon you, and ^blearn of me; for I am ^cmeek and ^dlowly in ^eheart: and ye shall find ^frest unto your souls.
30 For my yoke is ^aeasy, and my burden is light.

Funny- no peace word in there. What struck me was the word MY. How many hundreds of times have I read this and I always pictured me in one side of the yoke and inviting the Savior into the other, yet it clearly states that we take HIS yoke upon us. We completely leave our yoke and get into another one. A completely different burden! His Yoke is easy. His Burden is light! Ours are nothing of the sort.

The vision evokes a complete turn around, a change and a change means repentance and becoming new, getting out of old habits, old ways, etc and going to an easier peaceful life where decisions are simple and one chooses them because it's RIGHT. It screams conversion, commitment, and covenant. A place where commandments were not limiting, but instead freeing. One could dance in a yoke like that! One lives like that because it's easier in the long run, it's fruit is happiness and PEACE.

If you really think about it- living Christs life in all areas of life would be light, easy, restful. I think of it in terms of financial right now as that is what is so on my mind, but really it applies to EVERYTHING.

It would be pleasant carrying a load with Him!

Crafting Episode #1

2012-01-15T18:02:00.000-08:00

I saw this and of course Pinned it. The flowers are felt and it's on wood. I made a knock off yesterday.

This one is very inexpensive and I didn't have to roll up felt! I bought one of those frames that's 1 dollar at Michael's that is in the shape of a heart, then went to the dollar store and bought 3 stems of baby pink roses, cut them off and hot glued them on to the back where the picture goes. You can't tell it's crackled from the picture but it is some what- not 'cause I tried but because I made a mistake and had to paint it again. All I need now is pink ribbon, and to paint or mark on welcome, if I decide to do that. I did this all yesterday! The ribbon should be a dollar, so it should end up costing me 5 dollars!

I made one of these also at Christmas time. No picture, but I gave it to my mom. She bought herself a Christmas tree for 20$ after the holiday was over, so she'll need bigger ornaments. It's just a ball, glue and epsom salt- easy and inexpensive. Also a steel from Pinterest.

This next craft is my own creation- no knock offs here, but there are so many garland ideas and I really wanted to make one. I was going through the dollar bins at Michaels and they had the cardboard shapes- 5 for a dollar. Shapes were a gingerbread man, a tree and stockings. I got mine for cheaper due to a coupon, so they were only 70 cents. I cute and glued Christmas scrapbook paper to them, then with my coupon bought red vinyl letters, then bells for the top of them, so they make noise, and ribbon tied in between. It was hard to figure out how to do the bells, where to put the ribbon and how to get the thread in. I had that old fashioned twine, but it didn't work, but mustard yellow yarn did the trick. My mom helped me for a few hours with the stringing up. We put it up in her house, but I took them home. If you buy everything with a coupon it's very affordable. Does Michaels know what you can do with these? Maybe I should tell them!

I love crafting!

Counseling Again

2012-01-14T16:05:00.000-08:00

I'm going to counseling again. Yesterday was my first visit with Jason (ironic-no?). He's been practicing for 18 years, is LDS and has lived in Olympia Washington, so he feels my pain with the whole Idaho is pathetic thing.

I've been to counseling a lot.

I went twice at Ricks with a different counselor each time, each year. I'm a firm believer that everyone in college should take advantage of the free counseling if they need to. Everyone has 'ghosts'

I even went on my mission a few times.

Then USU, I went to a group session which was good and saw a few other counselors too for a short while.

I went to this volunteer retired so called counselor through LDS Social Services while in CA. He'd fall asleep and really didn't help at all. Jason told me the 'counselors' at the above mentioned place are social workers, not counselors. There is a difference!

I went a few times while living in WA twice to different counselors. I wish I would of gone to more, especially when after the whole Eric V episode. It took me a year and a half to get that out of my system. The first year I'd go over and over it in my head daily and multiple times. The last six months It was more random, not every day. I wondered last night how my life would of been different had I found professional help. Maybe I would of been told that Prozac only works 10 years, not 17 and the next few years would of been completely different. Maybe I wouldn't of made the same mistakes I made ten years later.

While I was married I saw 2 different counselors specifically for me. Another male counselor was there for Jason too and I came with. Jason met with all of the women that I met with at least once. However counseling with him didn't work.

Then a saw a woman through the Nampa Family Justice Center. She wasn't LDS and had all these false ideas about Mormon men being controlling. (Huge EYE ROLL) She wasn't very nurturing.
I even went to a "pattern changing" class that was helpful with other women in unhealthy relationships.

I'm glad to be seeing Jason. I believe I've got the right person. He's going to help me 'reclaim my life'. He gave me the straight talk I needed.

A Living Church

2012-01-08T17:30:00.000-08:00

Last SundayI had such a great experience and I wanted to share it here. I was so excited that I got to keep my bishop and stay in the same ward. To me it meant that the Lord is aware of me and what I need. I felt the spirit and I was thrilled with the meeting. I can't do it justice especially a week later, but it was awesome, so here goes:

A few wards got together and had sacrament meeting, a few speakers to prepare us for the changes and then the changes. The opening song was "I'll go where you want me to go". Everyone chuckled when that was announced. A new ward was created. (A ward is a geographical area of a congregation.) To prepare us for the changes a talk was given about the difference between The Lords church and other churches and how they run.

The speaker spoke about a very good friend of his who is a minister of another faith. It's his profession and he competes with other ministers. He's worried about getting fired and loosing his pension, he walks a doctrinal tight rope. He had to go soft of doctrine for the younger crowd who wore jeans and baseball caps to church and be more flamboyant too. The older membership who wore Sunday best wanted him to get doctrinally tougher. He had to find people to come to church- he had to "enroll" people, do fund raisers, and keep everyone happy, etc.

This was all shared with us to remind us how the true church is organized and ran. In the Lords church the doctrine does not change. His house is a house of order. D&C 132:8. The hard and fast doctrine in the handbook says that THE FAMILY is the most important unit of church now and in eternity.

Twin Falls in the last few years: The South stake awas created and 4 new chapels were built. The Stake President has a Bishop he loves. The worlds way would be to shop around, but we all have one bishop and one stake president. One point man, one spiritual leader with clear boundaries in geographical areas. They do not have to worry about fund raising, having others join or keeping people happy. All of us are with in a 5 min drive of 4 church buildings.

In Germany a congregation meet in a dance hall and came early to clean up the boose and garbage left there. When the missionary came, who is now in the stake presidency here, who could play the piano the members cried. The piano was out of tune and some keys didn't work and the player was marginal, but the members cried. What about Montana and Maine? The same thing happens there. The doctrines of the kingdom are taught.

The wards here are long and narrow running north to south. The wards are equal in high priest, the elderly, youth, sisters, etc. If the needs of the saints aren't being met it's the bishops burden. Some wards have been up to 5 to 6 hundred in membership. They should be around 350.

The bishop has a lot of duties:

All callings in the Aaronic Priesthood
He's the president of the priest quorum
He is responsible for the $ in the ward
He's responsible for the missionary work
He's a Sheppard
He's a judge in Israel.

But his most important job is to be there for the saints when they need him.

Everyone needs a friend, to give service, and to be nourished in the good word of God and that doesn't always happen in a large ward. A ward needs to have at least 300 members, have 15 active Melchizedek priesthood holders that are full tithe payers. The presidency worked on rearranging thy boundaries for some time. They tried it by age, income, youth, and they crunched the numbers, created many boundaries, then prayed and went to the temple.

Once they have it decided they send the maps and an application to the area authority of the 70. Then the 7 presidents of the 70. They look to see if the guidelines were met. This stake made a the wards above the minimum guidelines and because all the wards were so close in numbers they received a letter giving them the OK to make the change. The Lynnwood ward was created and this process included realigning the nearby stake and so the first presidency had to be sign that OK.

All 15 Stakes within the temple district are experiencing growth, and there were 3 stakes who had members attending the wrong ward and sometimes the wrong stake. Those Stakes are Jerome, Kimberly and the South Twin Falls Stake. Everything has been corrected.

What was so wonderful about the mtg was he released collectively those who would be attending another ward. He had the members of each ward stand up, so we could all see who we would be loosing or gaining. Today in church we learned that the first ward needed to fill 35 positions. We got quite a bit of new members who are mostly retired and at least 3 of the men had been bishops in the past. What was really nice was that I could feel the spirit- even at a reorganization mtg. I'm reminded of other reorganization mtgs I've attended in the past and there again I felt the spirit. The church is led by revelation, not the desires of men. The closing song was "God be with you till we meet again".

To read more about the doctrine of a TRUE and LIVING CHURCH, From Elder Oaks go here.
From Elder Eyring go here.
To read a response to an Evangelical Christian about the need for continuing revelation go here.

Happy New Year 2012

2012-01-01T12:46:00.000-08:00

I decided to keep the name of my blog. I thought for a moment today to change it to something totally different than the options I gave because it was a new year and hopefully a new day for me, but.... For now its sticks.

In accordance with my posts about allternatives to new years resolutions, here is what I've decided to do:

Miracles:

A. a temple marriage for me
B. A family (babies)
C. My nephews and niece who have lost their way to gain a testimony if lost and reorder their life in accordance to gospel truth. AKA: get their butts to church!
D. Get out of debt completely!

I remind the reader and myself that these are suppose to be miracles- the impossible!

A Word: "Seek"

A Phrase: If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, I seek after these things.

2011 Accomplishments:

obtained a job within 2 weeks of moving to Nampa Idaho

obtained a much higher paying job in Twin Falls after looking for months

Made friends with neighbors in Nampa

Took a family to church and helped them learn about the gospel and even did a little marriage counseling

Added a temple to my list of one visited and done work in

Went to a 'Pattern Changing" class and learned about boundaries and rights

Shopped at a lot of thrift stores

Kept my dogs Parker and Coco

Started reading The Book of Mormon again

Continue to maintain long distance friendships

Continue to offer help to others via knowledge and random acts of kindness as they come up.
Participated in The Book of Mormon Forum

Maybe it doesn't sound so unique or special, but it is what it is and who knows maybe to the Lord some of them were great things and I'll see that in the next life.

Thank you to all my friends and family who so lovingly helped me with emotional support and money over the last 8 months. I couldn't of done it with out you!

The tragedy of life doesn't lie
in not reaching your goal.
The tragedy lies in having
no goal to reach.

-Benjamin Mays

“The Book of Mormon is the best guide to learn how well we are doing and how to do better. . . . The doctrine and the valiant examples in that book will lift, guide, and embolden you. .

- Henry B. Eyring

Resolutions or Miracles?

2011-12-30T22:31:00.000-08:00

Here's another idea to replace resolutions. Write down miracles you'd like to have happen, the totally impossible ones. For this idea and testimony that it works go here.
Please go there- you won't be disappointed!

More "anti-resolution" articles:

1. New Year’s Resolutions: Recycling the Trivial? Or Reaching for the Nobler?

http://www.ldsmag.com/church/living/article/9144?ac=1

2. Why so few Latter-day saints make resolutions. http://ldsmag.com/component/zine/article/458?ac=1
This is the article that started it all! Here's the logic =

"Because we've been doing it in increments, all year every year. Ours is a religion that urges constant introspection, constant course adjustments, and weekly repentance so we can take the sacrament and be washed clean all over again. Waiting until January 1 st to modify our actions sounds almost ludicrous, if not downright impossible."

I WON!

2011-12-30T16:28:00.000-08:00

I rarely win anything. Once while at Ricks' college I won a pizza at the dance club that was trying to get people to come so it didn't have to shut down. We'll recently I won a book. A friend of mine has a blog called http://fabulousreads.blogspot.com/ They had a give away and I won! I got to pick from 2 books. I picked this one:

It's won Foreword Magazines book of the year award. I think my nieces Amber and Jessica will like it. I don't know when I will get to it, because besides the books I just talked about, I'm also reading the first book for work and the second for fun.

I'm slow with all of them. Bednar's book comes with a CD to watch. Going to start that tonight.

The 2012 Books

2011-12-29T23:26:00.000-08:00

Remember this post about a reading plan with all the books I inherited from my dad? We'll I did it. I read Rough Stone Rolling in 2011. It was a good plan and it worked, so I'm sticking with it in 2012. Tonight I took out 3 possible Nibley books: Since Cumorah, The Prophetic Book of Mormon, and Mormonism and Early Christianity.

I was going to go with The Prophetic Book of Mormon, the longest of the three, but decided on not just one book but two books that are not even on my original list. One of them is the last book my father was reading when he died. He never finished it and the book marker he was using is still there. The book is written by Jeffrey R. Holland one of the 12 apostles and is called CHRIST and The New Covenant. I actually bought the book, but let my dad read it first. Now I'll finally be getting to all of it for the first time. The other book is Isaiah, Prophecies of the Restoration, by Monte S. Nyman.

I'll start with Holland's book. I love that it has The Doctrinal Exposition on the Father and The Son in the appendix. I've read that before, but will read it again. It also has a list of the names of Christ in the appendix too and a few other gems.

With the two books it's a total of 543 pages and I'll have to read 45.25 pages a month. What will you be reading this year?

New Years Resolution Anyone?

2011-12-28T11:02:00.000-08:00

I never make new years resolutions.

When others would talk of them I would feel guilty, but not anymore. I just don't give them the meaning others do and thus they loose any reaction- positive or negative from me. If people are successful or not - it wasn't because of the resolution- it wasn't. It was because they wanted it really badly or they didn't want it bad enough.

But I have learned about other ways to work on making oneself better. Check out some of these ideas.

1. Come up with a word to focus on for the year. You can read about it here.
Then click on the title of the blog and you can see what word she chose for this year.

2. Look back over your life and make a list of things you did right this year! Read about "setting goals backwards" here!

3. No link for this one, but it comes from Annette Bowen. She comes up with a scripture or a quote or phase to focus on. One year I think it was something like "take joy" or "find joy" so every situation she was in she'd look for the joy.

4. If you're going to make a resolution, then you should know about this idea of quarterly check ups. See about that here.

Small Town Idaho

2011-12-26T17:57:00.001-08:00

And I mean REALLY REALLY SMALL. The population of Dietrich, pronounced deet-rick is 200 (in 2006 it was 166) and nearly doubles when school is in. Dietrich is where I work. It's a 42 mile drive for me one way. I work in the school there which has one building for pre-school to 12th grade. Last years graduating class was a total of 9 students! Things are different there to say the least. For about a month I was working in the HS and could often hear kids say "Dad, can I go to the bathroom?" I also heard 'Grandpa'. All the middle and HS teachers (the same) are LDS and male- all 7 of them. Now I'm in the Elementary school (5th grade) and out of 20 kids, only 6 are not LDS. The school has 2 buses. One that lives overnight at the drivers house and sits in front of the school all day because the driver is also a para-educator. On activity days the bus drops the LDS kids off at the church building because it's right on the way. Here's some other facts about Dietrich:

Some kids wear cowboy boots, shirts, and buckles
Girls come with curlers in their hair the night before a performance
The week before thanksgiving the WHOLE town is invited for a Thanksgiving lunch at the school. Old people and young families will show up for food.
Almost everyone is related. In the 5th grade class, you've got cousins, and 1st cousins once removed.
If kids forget their text book, paper, etc, they can go leave campus and go get it - AT HOME, especially if they live across the street. (Some of the teachers do- live across the street that is)
Some high school kids belong to FFA or Future Farmers of America.
Around town you can see lots of dogs wondering around with no collars or tags. It's OK if they come to school, because they belong to someone there, and all the kids know it's name.
I had a 16 year old ask me if I'd ever been to a movie theater before.
There is one small store called 'the Merc', in the same building as the local bar is.
If kids want to go on field trips they need to raise money for it through fund raisers like bake sales.
Often speeches in class are about cows, or shooting a stray dog, or going hunting.
The mascot is a "blue devil", some little blue guy they tried not to make so evil.
There is a special ed program, but no gifted and talented program and both is needed.
There is one principal for the whole school who also happens to be the superintendent. (He's LDS too)
You can see a few whole pig roasters around town like this one that the HS students made.

All in all it's a nice place to work. The people are very friendly and don't mind you mixing PSR worker with the school staff. There is not a cast system like there is in bigger Hansen Idaho, a population in 2007 of 959 where my first job was. The nearest largest town to all of them is Twin Falls Idaho, population of 44,125 estimated in 1010, where I live.
The population of Bellevue WA is 122,363.

Christmas at my house

2011-12-22T07:58:00.000-08:00

I went to a SA dinner and came home the winner of this tree! I was so happy.
It was this that got me in the mood to decorate. I'm so thankful!

For some reason I'm attracted to these manly men Santas.
I have to contain myself from getting a new one each year!

Here's a group of singing animals and a little black dog.
I had 3 black dogs growing up, so they remind me of them.

I have a collection of Christmas stuffed animals.
Coco got his mouth on a few this year and made them his chew/throw toy,
but I still have a lot.

There are 4 stocking and only 1 person. 2 are dog paw stockings
and the others are just so cute I couldn't not hang them up!

My friend Terry gave me this BEAUTIFUL amazing gift- this stained glass angel. It was such a shocker to turn around from the computer and see this in front of the tree.
I've left it just where she put it!

My beautiful tree all lit up! I love it!
My home is beautiful. There are a few pictures missing-
another woodland Santa setting, the 3 small lighted green tress and the white colored tree out front, and a lamp and TV decorations. I think this year is the prettiest yet. I wish my house was this pretty all year long.

Picture A Christmas!

2011-12-18T17:34:00.000-08:00

Anna

The 3 wise men

Walking to Egypt or maybe from Egypt

Noah/Gabriel

Elizabeth and Mary

Zacharias in the temple

Joseph and Jesus

Simeon

Not Just Luke 2

2011-12-10T16:05:00.000-08:00

The Christmas Story

Many people are familiar with the Nativity story as told in Luke 1–2.

But there are many other places in the scriptures that talk about the

miraculous birth of the Savior Jesus Christ.

Consider including these verses in your personal scripture study this month:

Old Testament	New Testament	Book of Mormon	Doctrine and Covenants	Pearl of Great Price
Isaiah 7:14; 9:6–7	Matthew 1–2	1 Nephi 10:4–6; 11:13–21	D&C 76:41	Moses 5:57
Micah 5:2	John 1:1–14	Alma 7:9–13	D&C 93:1–4
		Helaman 14:1–9
		3 Nephi 1

The 5 Gospels Tradition

2011-12-09T18:41:00.000-08:00

Many families will read from Luke ch 2 on Christmas Eve night as part of there traditions of celebration. I grew up with this tradition and sometimes we'd read from Matthew chapters 1-2 as well as Luke. I remember one Christmas Eve well, it was just my mom, dad and me. We read about Zacharias and Elizabeth and about Simeon and the widow at the temple too. It was a wonderful night filled with the spirit.

Another tradition came to me from a friend over 10 years ago. The tradition is this: Instead of reading of the Saviors birth one night a year, read about his whole life by reading all 4 gospels the 3 months before the sacred holiday.

Christs birth is prophesied in The Book of Mormon. It's in Helaman chapter 14. You can read it here. Even in America they knew about the star and 5 years from the date specified in that prophecy they saw the star.

Then in the next book called 3rd Nephi Christ comes to the people in America after his resurrection in the old world. Some call this the 5th gospel. This book tells about his visit after his mortal life on earth. He comes to his other lost sheep, also his covenant people, in the Americas after his resurrection in the old world.

If one starts on Oct 27 with Matthew continuing with Mark, Luke, John and then 3 Nephi reading 2 chapters a day you will
finish on Christmas!

2011-12-09T17:04:00.000-08:00

2 Stories, 1 Message

2011-12-06T06:00:00.000-08:00

Many Christian do not believe that in the next life if we run into each other we will know each other or that those on the other side are worried about us at all. Some think that we will be sitting on fluffy clouds praising God. I'm not sure where they get those ideas. They are not in the bible at all. Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints know different.

Lazarus and the rich man on earth

There is one story in the New Testament about just what I'm talking about. It can be found in Luke 16 In this chapter the Savior is telling us a story. Some will say- it's just a story. Yes- but a story about the afterlife by he one who would really know about that. Had we not listen up?

This is the story: 2 men die. One was rich and unrighteous and had no name. The other was a poor beggar named Lazarus who went to Abraham's bosom. The rich man when to hell, and SAW ABRAHAM AFAR OFF and Lazarus. He asks Abraham for Mercy, by having Lazarus bring him just a little water. Abraham explains that he had received good things on earth (They have their reward) and poor Lazarus evil things, but now he is comforted. Then Abraham explains the gulf that the Savior had not yet breached, so there is no passing in between. Once hearing this he begs Abraham for Lazarus to be sent to his 5 brothers as he thinks they will believe someone that comes from the grave. If they will not hear Moses and the prophets neither will they be persuaded though one rose from the dead.

The rich man tormented in Hell and Lazarus in Abraham's bosom.

Lessons about the after life.
1. We recognized each other.
2. We will feel pleasure and pain.
3. We will think about our family.
4. We will each be ourselves.

During the Christmas season another story is told by Charles Dickens. A Christmas Carol has the same message, only this time the rich man IS visited and BELIEVES and CHANGES, and the poor is helped too. Scrooge is shown the chains of Hell, the pains of the afterlife if life is lived poorly, and the happiness, yet heartache of those living now. Ebeneezer Scrooge is visited not by family, but by a business partner, or more aptly described as a partner in crime. We have all seen a movie or two done by Hollywood, or Disney, or the Muppets, or seen the play on stage or read the book. Which ever is your favorite the message is the same.

It matters how you live your life.
We will know each other in the next.

healing a wounded soul.

2011-12-04T08:57:00.000-08:00

I love the last 5 or so chapters of 2 Nephi. Many times when I've read those chapters I've fallen in love with Nephi and have felt that in the pre-mortal life I followed him around and listened to his words. The chapters are wonderful and full of doctrine.

I've tried to read my scriptures every day since I was 16 (I'm 39), but recently life has been so hectic that I actually thought of giving it up and only reading on Sundays. There are so many members who don't make the scriptures a life long pursuit and I've wondered how they can do that. The scriptures are such a boon to me. I don't know what I'd do with out them. I've had as prophets have said 'a love affair' with them'.

Last night I started to read Jacob ch 2. I read 1 verse and I felt the need, the impression I guess to pray. A scripture came to my mind- the scriptures will tell you all things what ye should do. I didn't think I'd find any mind blowing answers in this chapter, but maybe as I kept reading ideas and help would come. I know people have counseled to pray before you read so you have help to understand, but I've never found that to work for me. In fact it does the exact opposite.. I get more, much more by just reading and studying what comes to me. But I prayed. I prayed for the things I need, am fasting for.

Jacob ch 2 is about pride, plural wives and hearing the pleasing word or God vs. a call to repentance. Many things caught my attention. The pleasing word of God which healeth the wounded soul. I automatically thought of my experiences with my present bishop and my previous one. I went to have my soul healed. One time it happened and one time I heard nothing of the sort. With my life experiences the last 2 years that is what I needed, not a call to repentance. I got the pleasing word of God from Bishop Mix. He didn't read me any verses, but I heard the voice of the Lord through him. Again I'm thankful for that knowledge of what the word of God via the scriptures and a bishop can do for a person.

Then I came to the verses about seeking first the Kingdom of God verses riches. I love what it says about being in the phase of seeking for riches what you're suppose to seek them for- OTHERS, not yourself. I put a box around vs. 17, but studied the many foot notes of vs 18.

17 Think of your ^abrethren like unto yourselves, and be familiar with all and free with your ^bsubstance, that ^cthey may be rich like unto you.
18 But ^abefore ye seek for ^briches, seek ye for the ^ckingdom of God.

I'm in a terrible financial mess. I can't pay all my bills and need to make about 600 more a month. The non-profit credit counselor told me I should consider bankruptcy. Never in my life would I ever NEED to do that if I had not married. Never in my life would I ever consider that. I'm looking for a roommate to help a little.

Funny how the messages in that chapter were the things I'm dealing with. The scriptures have the answers.

My Heart and a Bishop

2011-11-28T19:49:00.000-08:00

Remember this post? I realized latter that it was a loss, hence why the huge anger and tears. I lost a place to go for help, a possible supporter, a confidante, the Lords voice. I've always had that. Never had I felt like I did then about a bishop.

Today I went to see my new bishop. What a difference. He knew I needed to speak to him, before I even asked (it's not hard when you're crying all through sacrament mtg). He prayed before hand the most beautiful complete prayer. He listened, he asked questions, he spoke words of comfort. Oh I wanted to praise his name to the Lord, to praise the Lord.

He asked first about my childhood, what kind of family life I had. He asked about my mission. Elder Gardner came up. Turns out I did the right things. I wasn't as bad as I thought.

I told him about my marriage, about how things are now and about my finances. These are some of the things he said:

The Spirit tells me your a good person. I'm here as the Savior. I take that seriously. I'm here to help you get to happy again.

The Spirit tells me the Lord loves you. He knows exactly what you're going through. This is a trial, a trial of your faith.

Something that everyone else out there has experiences just like this, or a family member that has so close to this.

You'll be stronger because of this. You'll look back and understand why you had to go through this.

Maybe you're here to help me, or I'm here to help you.

You will have an opportunity in the future to marry again, I don't know when or with who, I haven't felt anything about that.

Let's talk some more.

Counseling may be something we can do.

Oh, what a difference! What a relief. I know I am in good hands. Really good hands.
I must of needed to move here for him! He had me end in prayer. I thanked the Lord for him.

OOOPPPPS! Car Crash!

2011-11-21T21:28:00.000-08:00

Yep- I got in a car accident. It was really a fender bender. It was sort of my fault. The my fault part was staying to long on the internet Thursday morning after not having the internet for a month at my house, so I was anxious to get to my job FASTER, so I wouldn't be late. HAHA! I drive 42 miles to work. It's a straight shot most of the way through farm land, rocks and sage brush. There is usually no one on the street, but there was that morning.

Here you can see the bent bar above the radiator.
That bar goes around the whole square of the engine.

The someone else fault's was a car/truck 3 or 4 cars ahead of me stopping to turn, not just turn, but stopping, so all the drivers put on the breaks! I was going to fast, tried to miss the van ahead of me, especially the other head light that just got fixed two days previous! But it was the van or a ditch. I went for the van.

The lady in the other car insisted she call the cops. Oh- what a waste of time and money for me. She had never been in a car accident before. So I got a 85$ ticket. What good is calling the cops? Can anyone tell me.? I mean, we could of taken care of it ourselves with our insurance agencies. It was of no benefit to her and to me. ARRRGGGG! Her van only had a 5 in crack on the bumper that DID NOT go all the way through. It was superficial. But the car was a 2010, so they will replace it.

You might be able to tell that the FRAME was bent in the whole ordeal!
Ya- the frame- you know that part that everything else is built on top of.

Of course I didn't know that until I drove it to work after the accident. The cop asked me twice if I needed a tow. Even if I did I wouldn't of gotten on. I would of called some body and had them drag my car home. I can't afford a tow truck! I knew the car still worked and that I could take it to the shop teacher and the boys and they could tell me if they could help me fix it. They could do a few things. But that frame and bar was beyond their skills. The teacher gave me a recommendation for a fix it guy who specializes in frames. He priced it at 900 to do the whole thing. Not a bad price. I can't afford it, but it's cheaper than a car payment which I can't afford even more!

Like the duck tape job? That is curtsey of the HS shop kids.
Good idea I thought. The light does still work.

The fun part is on the way home, I got a speeding ticket for 85$ as well. Different cop, different town. I was in a school zone and going 20 miles over. My car was on empty and there was a gas station just a block away. The cop was nice and on the ticket didn't mention I was in a school zone and only put that I was only going 15 over. He saved me over a hundred dollars.
It was a nightmare day. Lots of tears.

oh ya, here's another piece of info- the engine is new, and the car is only worth 1772.00!

The Power of Friends

2011-10-20T22:42:00.000-07:00

Last 2 nights in Nampa in my cute blue house with 3 bedrooms, new carpet, new kitchen appliances, new bathroom vanity and cabinet mirror. Nampa with family and friends and neighbors near by, and a dog park. Moving to Twin Falls to ugly, 2 bedroom, old kitchen appliances and cabinets, strange carpet and layout, and more rent, but a garage when it snows and a temple that is open, but no friends.

I've been crying a lot lately about this move. Being away from people and the change in houses are my NOW issues. But of course their is also the other eternal stuff. Am I a looser? Why is my life going like this? Why can't I have my righteous desires? Will I ever be with anyone else or just stay single and alone for forever. I've been telling Heavenly Father that if I still have blessings of a husband and children allotted (Alma 29)to me, if it's at all possible, even though I messed things up, can I please have them. Please. I know I'm overweight, and have ugly legs and arms and a fat stomach, but my insides are pretty good most of the time. The being alone is the worry part of my being right now.

I read this earlier today via E-mail. It feels right, so I'm sharing it.

They Teach It at Stanford :

"I just finished taking an evening class at Stanford. The last lecture was on the mind-body connection - the relationship between stress and disease. The speaker (head of psychiatry at Stanford) said, among other things, that one of the best things that a man could do for his health is to be married to a woman, whereas for a woman, one of the best things she could do for her health was to nurture her relationships with her girlfriends. At first everyone laughed, but he was serious. Women connect with each other differently and provide support systems that help each other to deal with stress and difficult life experiences. Physically this quality "girlfriend time" helps us to create more serotonin - a neurotransmitter that helps combat depression and can create a general feeling of well being. Women share feelings whereas men often form relationships around activities. They rarely sit down with a buddy and talk about how they feel about certain things or how their personal lives are going. Jobs? Yes. Sports? Yes. Cars? Yes. Fishing, hunting, golf? Yes. But their feelings? Rarely. Women do it all of the time. We share from our souls with our sisters/mothers, and evidently that is very good for our health. He said that spending time with a friend is just as important to our general health as jogging or working out at a gym. There's a tendency to think that when we are "exercising" we are doing something good for our bodies, but when we are hanging out with friends, we are wasting our time and should be more productively engaged - not true. In fact, he said that failure to create and maintain quality personal relationships with other humans is as dangerous to our physical health as smoking! So every time you hang out to schmooze with a gal pal, just pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself for doing something good for your health! We are indeed very, very lucky. So let's toast to our friendship with our girlfriends. Evidently it's very good for our health."

Instead of coming home to my place of boxes, that my mom has been packing I went straight to my friend Beverley's. It's been over a week since I've seen her and we used to call or visit daily. She has 2 dogs too, and a cat. I hung out with her for 2 hours, watching Gray's Anatomy and Dr. Oz and eating apple slices and bagels with melted cheese. When I drove away I felt so good. So filled up. It was so good to hang out and be and talk about men and their diseases. When I read that little email it felt right. Right and good. And then I had an experience with it and it's true. It's really true.

The Bible and The Book of Mormon

2011-10-15T21:06:00.000-07:00

S.E.E.D. (an experiment)

2011-10-14T09:31:00.000-07:00

Did you know there are TWO invitations and tests in The Book of Mormon to find out if anything, especially spiritual things like the Book of Mormon is true. We of course know there is Moroni 10:3-5:

Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how ^amerciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ^bponder it in your ^chearts.
4 And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ^aask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not ^btrue; and if ye shall ask with a ^csincere heart, with ^dreal intent, having ^efaith in Christ, he will ^fmanifest the ^gtruth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.
5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may ^aknow the ^btruth of all things.

But at Alma 32 give us another one and it is for faith and probably many other things we want to find the truth of. This one is for those scientific types. This one actually follows the scientific method basic's of a hypothesis, an experiment, analyzing the data, etc.

The questions: Are these things true? Should I believe?
Background: You need to study and read and find out as much as possible.
Hypothesis: The Book of Mormon is true because it helps me SEE and D.
Test: Plant the seed in your heart(notice it's not your head)
Annalyze that data: Does it do these things that are explained below?
Communicate results: This is what happened to me. It can happen to you. (why we send missionaries out and share our faith with our neighbors)

Here is the invitation:
27 But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than ^adesire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.

28 Now, we will compare the word unto a ^aseed. Now, if ye give place, that a ^bseed may be planted in your ^cheart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your ^dunbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves—It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me.

Do you see the SEED? If the seed is good and you have not cast it out by unbelief or resisted the Spirit it will

Swell within your breasts,
Enlarge your soul,
Enlighten your understanding and becomes
Delicious to you!

The Book of Mormon does that for me every time I read it- EVERY TIME!

The goal of planting a seed is to get a tree and get fruit!

What's so great about Alma 32 and this experiment is that it tells us the seed will die if we do not nourish it.

37 And behold, as the tree beginneth to grow, ye will say: Let us nourish it with great care, that it may get root, that it may grow up, and bring forth fruit unto us. And now behold, if ye nourish it with much care it will get root, and grow up, and bring forth fruit.
38 But if ye ^aneglect the tree, and take no thought for its nourishment, behold it will not get any root; and when the heat of the sun cometh and scorcheth it, because it hath no root it withers away, and ye pluck it up and cast it out.
39 Now, this is not because the seed was not good, neither is it because the fruit thereof would not be desirable; but it is because your ^aground is ^bbarren, and ye will not nourish the tree, therefore ye cannot have the fruit thereof.
40 And thus, if ye will not nourish the word, looking forward with an eye of faith to the fruit thereof, ye can never pluck of the fruit of the ^atree of life.
41 But if ye will nourish the word, yea, nourish the tree as it beginneth to grow, by your faith with great diligence, and with ^apatience, looking forward to the fruit thereof, it shall take root; and behold it shall be a tree ^bspringing up unto everlasting life.

42 And because of your ^adiligence and your faith and your patience with the word in nourishing it, that it may take root in you, behold, by and by ye shall pluck the ^bfruit thereof, which is most precious, which is sweet above all that is sweet, and which is white above all that is white, yea, and pure above all that is pure; and ye shall feast upon this fruit even until ye are filled, that ye hunger not, neither shall ye thirst.

I have tasted the fruit and it is sweet above all that is sweet and pure above all that is pure.
It is delicious to me.
Of this I testify.

Dog Swim Party

2011-10-06T10:05:00.000-07:00

This is a park near my home with a swimming pool. On the last Saturday of August it hosted a dog swim and stroll party. Only dogs could swim. They had 2 life guards there too.

It cost 10$ for the dog to swim, 10$ for the T-shirt. All money benefits the Nampa dog park.

Coco loves to swim. He would swim (not just at a party) all the time at the dog park on Mercer Island on the shore of Lake Washington. He doesn't get to do that as much, although I've taken him to Lake Lowell here, which is a man made irrigation fed lake that can get gross.

It was just so fun to see this in a swimming pool. It was fun to see the dogs get each others balls, dogs get on the Island and bark at the other dogs swimming by, to watch the dogs try for the courage to jump in the water- putting a paw out as if they could walk on the water. At one point I pushed Coco into the deep end. He went all the way under and came back up. I think that's his second time doing that. This summer I've been making Parker swim at the lake here, but it's not something he chooses to do, so didn't pay for him, but he walked around, going in the bathrooms, hiding beside a lady in a wheel chair.

There is also vendors outside the pool area. Some giving away treats and small bags of dog food. They had a raffle and my friend Beverley won 200$ in prizes including a LARGE bag of Science Diet Dog food. Parker and I participated in a look a like contest. I stuck out my tonge like he does and went on stage and told everyone about him. I so wanted to win, but didn't. If we do it next year I'm going to dress in black and white and WIN. A little girl had her dog dressed just like her with a green shirt and jeans. The jeans kept falling off the little dog. She got 2nd place I think.

Shelters or the Humane society had adoptable dogs for just 25$.

I got there, took these 4 pictures and promptly dropped my brand new camera in the water. The nice man next to me got it out, but it was ruined! Luckily I still had my phone camera.

Up Date on Twin

2011-10-06T09:17:00.000-07:00

I left Twin Wed night and am back in Nampa. There is no school there today, and C didn't come to school on Tuesday. I spent Tues looking for places to live and came home bummed as nothing seemed to be working out. Places were to small, but affordable, to big and not so affordable with my get out of debt goal, or not thrilled with dogs.

But I found some more options on Wed and places to look when I get back on Sunday. This time I'm sure I'll be staying till Thursday. The company Pro-Active Advantage will be paying for this last week of my stay at the motel 6. That's a relief as I still had to pay Oct rent here! But I need to find someone else - a member of the church to stay with for free. Up date a few hours latter- I found someone! Yahoo!

Then SLC for a wedding!Then back to work with little miss run away who has NO educational IEP goals, just 2 social skill goals. We are only working on one; increasing compliance and decreasing non-compliance. When that happens we will introduce her to other kids her age and hope she will play!

More NEW

2011-10-01T22:35:00.000-07:00

I'm totally stressed out. I've been in tears a few times today and yesterday. It's conference weekend, but right after all the sessions I have to be up to Twin Falls, to start my new job for 4 days, then drive to SLC to attend my nephews wedding, then back up to Twin, for another 4 days. During the 8 days in Twin I hope I can find a place to live that is acceptable for me and the dogs. If I do, it's down to Nampa to rent a U-Haul again, pack up and re order my life once again. I've had so many changes in the last 2 years, I'm looking for some easier times ahead.

Shoshone Falls

Just when I'm getting comfortable in Nampa I have to move. I love the place I live. It's perfect for me and for the dogs. The job- not so much- way too much dysfunction- WAY TOO MUCH. I find it impossible to not get involved. The ward- It's OK. I make my self heard in gospel doctrine and relief society. I have a friend- Beverely T. who I speak on the phone with daily and has 2 dogs like me. The Bishop finally (after his talk I'm sure with the Stake President) asked me to speak. Of course there is to much in the way to have that happen (see the above paragraph) You snooze, you loose.(The Perrine Bridge over the Snake River you have to go over to get to Twin)

I gave my resignation notice on wed the 28 over the phone, the letter on the 30, and my last day is Oct 1st. The 3rd will be my second day as I was paid on Thursday the 29th, 16 dollars an hour! Yep, if I'm working with a student age child in school with them, I make 16, If I work outside of school with anyone I make 18 an hour!
What will I be doing, you might ask. Here in Idaho it's called PSR work, which stands for Psycho-social Rehabilitation. I will be working with people with mental illnesses. By law I have 30 months to take classes and a test and then I will be have letters behind my name. CPRP. Certified Psychiatric Rehabilitation Practitioner (I think). Washington State does not use this method at all. When I ask- does this person have a case manager, a state social worker, they don't know what I'm talking about, but many states use this method.

My thoughts during the drive there for the interview were negative, but the interview went amazingly well. Then a temple session and on the way home I was feeling great about it. The next visit- a days work I was realizing how my life has seemed to almost lead up to this. Like it was a path.

1. A college education in human development
2. A practicum at USU at the Bear River Mental Health Day program.
3. A care giving job with people with disabilities and mental illnesses in Bellevue that started my "career" with the DD population.
4. A one on one position with G. at Children's Institute for Learning Differences on Mercer Island in 1999. G was violent- tried to hit me with a large stick and got naked once!
5. The last year of learning the appropriate way to handle conflict and stress maturely.

As much as I've told people I don't like Idaho (for many reasons) I will miss Nampa. I really will. It's starting to feel like home. I know the streets, I love the views of the animals I drive by all the time. It has Costoc and Winco! It has my family! It has a great dog park (which at first I thought was so lame). It has my friends (can you believe that is plural) that I will miss! Twin is just a 2 hour drive to Nampa.

But maybe this will be great! If they get me 40 hours of work, I can get out of debt in about 8 months. It will be a new start, one where I'm not in crisis mode as I was almost 5 months ago.

The Messiah in America

2011-09-30T07:45:00.000-07:00

The whole month of Oct over at http://beinglds.blogspot.com will be testimonies and answered questions about The Book of Mormon. I hope some of my posts here will be about that too.

my crying complaints: too many women, not enough men

2011-09-25T21:46:00.000-07:00

I think I've been to 4 firesides now and 2 activities. The firesides are nice, but shallow in doctrine if you've studied the scriptures like I have. Two of them have been about that. I could do a better job at a fireside, but it's only because I have obtained the ideas I use from so many sources. The people are nice. Unless it's a mid-single group everyone is old, older, or much older. In the mid-singles activities is lots of women and a few men. Women with children mostly.

I go home so emptied of hope for a future with a man and a family. There are so many choices for the men and I'm just not that pretty, thin, or have a great career. It's really depressing. I know I need to focus on healing and finding myself again, getting my confidence back. It's hard because the phone calls and texts have still been going on with Jason. I know I shouldn't answer or reply. He basically begs me to come back, calls me beautiful, apologizes for yelling and says he'll never do it again, but during the day when I think of him, its the negative stuff. If I go back it would be out of fear of never finding anyone, spending the rest of my life alone, and because he's so sad and wants me. It's not about love. I'm sure I'd go back and be depressed still and want to leave again.

So,what is a girl to do? I shared in the fireside tonight about if you look for the qualities and attributes of the Godhead your faith will increase in them. It's true, when I did it for years. I started to believe, to really believe in the promises he'd made to me for year - 17 promises of marriage and family and it got me to where I was when I met Jason. I was OK with being single, had men to flirt with, but had faith in those promises. But now...... I just don't know what to believe, what to pray for, what to do.

Sometimes I want to be a hermit and hide from the rest of the world. I'm sobbing right now as I type this. I wasn't planning on doing a post like his.

My life is depressing. I work with depressing people, and if I get this job I will need to be under constant vigilance of the mentally ill, disabled person I'll be with. That doesn't sound much like a life. I used to wonder what my patriarchal blessing said when it mentioned "those that are less fortunate" than me. We'll that was silly- heck- just wait a year or two and boom- it's completely clear.

But I'm suppose to find happiness now, know Heavenly Father loves me. Sure I'll do that surrounded by people who have husbands and children. I just don't want to be alone!

I was such a joke thinking before that I was at the "top of my game" as Elder Gardner put it, because I didn't marry the wrong person, didn't have a failed marriage, or children, or baggage. I need to just stop thinking anything and then nothing will happen to me.

Forget Me Not

2011-09-25T10:10:00.000-07:00

places to find these free printables:
1. www.sugardoodle.net
2. http://beinglds.blogspot.com
3. http://chocolateonmycranium.blogspot.com (more than one style)

Your Bill of Rights

2011-09-23T20:06:00.000-07:00

1. I have the right to be me.
2. I have the right to put myself first.*
3. I have the right to be safe.
4. I have the right to love and be loved.
5. I have the right to be treated with respect.
6. I have the right to be human- not perfect.
7. I have the right to be angry and protest if I am treated unfairly or abusively by anyone.
8. I have the right to my own privacy.
9. I have the right to my own opinions, to express them, and to be taken seriously.
10. I have the right to earn and control my own money.
11. I have the right to ask questions about anything that affects my life.
12. I have the right to make decisions that affect me.
13. I have the right to grow and change, and that includes changing my mind.
14. I have the right to say NO
15. I have the right to make mistakes
16. I have the right not to be responsible for other adults' problems and feelings.
17. I have the right not to be liked by everyone.
18. I have the right to control my own life and to change it if I am not happy with it as it is.
*This 2nd right may seem to be selfish. However, it does not mean not considering others or taking the last crust of bread from your children. It does mean that you must love and respect yourself first before you can, with a healthy balance, give of yourself to others in the most effective way.

This is something we got the second night of the pattern changing class. It's on my bedroom wall and sometimes I have to remind myself of these. It's helped so much. For instance I was reading a blog about Visiting Teaching and how one woman said something that hurt another woman and she asked to have a new VT. The woman who got 'fired' was all worried and spoke to the Relief Society President about it. So many women left comments about similar experiences, but because of this knowledge, my comment didn't flow in the same vein as the others. Instead I shared right # 17. I could of just as well told her about # 16. Those rights could of ceased her worrying. She could of just let it go not letting it stress her out or feel bad. I'm finding so many things that could be of no concern with just these 2 rights.

Take for instance a column on Meridian Magazine that basically stirs up issues we face in Mormon land. Issues such as complaining about teenagers wearing formal attire in church mtgs, is the priesthood a moving company, the same people being called to leadership callings. While everyone has their opinions about it does it really matter? Is it really that big of an issue? Can you just let it go?

It's helped with work and the dysfunctional people I take care of. I have become so involved in the past by solving problems, spending money, researching solutions, being a mediator and a guide, giving suggestions. Those are all good things, but it is suppose to be a professional relationship. The boundaries I'm learning and right # 16 has helped me take a step back and just let be what is. It's not my home, my children, my problems and regardless of what I say or do, I don't have to do anything but my job. I don't have to take it on my shoulders and try to fix it all. I don't have to be responsible for other adults problems and feelings.

It could help with a mom who has taken no time for her self for years to not feel guilty when she finally does do something just for her. She can put herself first (#2). In fact we are encouraged in our class to give ourselves a gift weekly. I'm not talking about buying yourself something, but letting yourself take a nap, read a good book, go swimming at the lake, call a friend. It could be a purchase too, like buying yourself flowers, or a new pair of shoes you've been wanting. The whole idea is to take care of yourself! It's even better if you can do it a few times a week or even daily.
We talked about these in class last Thursday again and how when we don't do do these things it's like were high school students getting in everyone's business, handling things with contempt, getting our feelings hurt, hurting others feelings, over reacting, etc. So many problems at home and in nations would be solved if we just lived these rights and let others live them too. They are everyone's rights. The only thing our teacher tells us is these rights and boundaries will not work with a batterer. If fact he/she may become more dangerous. It only works with emotionally healthy people.

Faith, Hope and Charity

2011-09-21T09:40:00.000-07:00

You may have read THIS post from a few months ago. Every time I thought about it I would cry and get mad. I finally did something about it and here’s how it went down.

I went to a fireside for mid-singles (31-45) and somehow since it was an area 70 speaking thought I could give this to the stake president. I gave it to the area authority and he gave it to the stake president. I spoke with him before I spoke to the 70’d telling him I had tried to get a hold of him via his executive secretary by phone and email. No reply. I tried the emails for the 2 counselors. No reply. There was no contact info for the Stk. Pres. I was not happy with his response and so I gave the note to Elder Nachess. He gave it to the Stk. President. I guess that’s what they do. The next week the Stake Exec. Secretary sought me out, got my phone number and had me make an appointment for the very next week. I knew I would need to pray about this as I was still upset.

That night I found a list on Pinterest called “spiritual directory assistance”. I went through the list and found some that applied to me.

When you want to be treated better: 3 Nephi 14:9 (I found 7-12 helpful to me)

^aAsk, and it shall be given unto you; ^bseek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.

8 For every one that asketh, receiveth; and he that seeketh, findeth; and to him that knocketh, it shall be opened.

9 Or what man is there of you, who, if his son ask bread, will give him a stone?

10 Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent?

11 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father who is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?

12 Therefore, all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, ^ado ye even so to them, for this is the law and the prophets.

Somehow this led me to, or I thought of Mosiah 4:19, 21-22

For behold, are we not all ^abeggars? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have, for both food and raiment, and for gold, and for silver, and for all the riches which we have of every kind?

21 And now, if God, who has created you, on whom you are dependent for your lives and for all that ye have and are, doth grant unto you whatsoever ye ask that is right, in faith, believing that ye shall receive, O then, how ye ought to ^aimpart of the substance that ye have one to another.

22 And if ye ^ajudge the man who putteth up his petition to you for your substance that he perish not, and condemn him, how much more just will be your ^bcondemnation for withholding your substance, which doth not belong to you but to God, to whom also your life ^cbelongeth; and yet ye put up no petition, nor repent of the thing which thou hast done.

How could a bishop have forgotten these principles? Did the Savior turn anyone away? Did he limit the help? Did he say“only so much and no more?”

Then 3 days latter I found these:

When you are unhappy with a leader: Mormon 9:31

Condemn me not because of mine ^aimperfection, neither my father, because of his imperfection, neither them who have written before him; but rather give thanks unto God that he hath made manifest unto you our imperfections, that ye may learn to be more wise than we have been.

And these:

Matthew 18:15 Moreover if thy brother shall ^atrespass against thee, go and ^btell him his ^cfault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.

D&C 64:9 Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to ^aforgive one another; for he that ^bforgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.

Then I went to my “changing patterns” class and learned about anger.

When you’re angry think ‘Will it benefit me or hurt me?’

Anger can ruin your life.

Anger is usually a strategy for dealing with a more fundamental experience. Anger is often a reaction to some kind of frustration or thwarted need.

The major problem associated with the expression of anger is that expressing anger typically escalates conflict and alienates the person who is the target of the anger. It is unlikely to influence the target of your anger in a positive way.

Anger is a choice and therefore controllable.

Using emotionally charged words that convey anger and hostility only makes you feel bad and doesn’t solve anything. … you will feel better if you use neutral or descriptive rather than emotionally charged or judgmental words.

No one taught me these principles. I had learned some on my own in my marriage. I was learning some now. I wish I had learned 30 years ago, but better late than never.

Other thoughts about anger and the like:

Rudeness is the weak person’s imitation of strength.

If you’re going to act like a turd, go lay in the yard!

The meeting with the Stake President went well. He complimented me on how I handled it. Usually he gets people all up in arms- how I wanted to be, but thankfully was not. He also said I did the right thing and asked if him teaching him is what I’m looking for. Yes.

I said I knew why the focus the church is talking on self reliance, but that these are hard times and people with college educations don’t have jobs. I told him about my experience in Washington and the other stories I’ve heard about Idaho. I don’t understand the discrepancy, especially since ID seems to be much poorer a state then WA. I mentioned to him the scripture about asking for bread and fish, about the church sending millions to vaccinate whole countries in Africa. What I wish I had told him was what someone else told me: that the church welfare program is the temporal atonement- doing for us what we cannot do for ourselves. The Savior never let anyone go hungry even when he only had 5 loaves and 2 fishes.

He explained the Bishop had a good heart, perhaps was dealing with many welfare cases and perhaps I caught him on a bad day. When he speaks with the Bishop, he will have the bishop contact me and we will talk.

I suppose that is another post.

Meridian magazine had this article that I thought applied called "Persecuting the Poor."

Better yet- read this talk by the Presiding Bishop given last conference:

http://lds.org/general-conference/2011/04/the-sanctifying-work-of-welfare?lang=eng

"....the Church of Christ should be and is interested in the temporal salvation of man."

The Twin Falls Temple

2011-09-18T00:01:00.000-07:00

I've been to the Twin Falls Idaho Temple twice now. It's so very beautiful. High ceilings, with stained glass in almost every room- including the locker rooms. The patterns of a flower and a square can be found through out, the glass again, the wall paper, the carpet in the celestial room. It's just lovely. The wood is light inside, and the murals in the endowment room is of the canyon and falls ones drives over to get there. The painting is absolutely stunning! Besides the flowers, in the landscaping is the stone from the canyon that can be found in front and in back of the temple.

The flowers surrounding the temple are magnificent. I went crazy taking more pictures of them than the actual temple structure.

Don't you love the flower within the flower? I do! Just one on this one.

This is the back of the temple, perfect for taking pictures. The Chapel is also behind it.

Love the rocks and water- both symbols of the Savior! There are these 'river rocks' around the small fountain are natures benches for sitting and standing on for picture taking.

Wouldn't this make a lovely backdrop for wedding photos? There are 2 of these in the back.

Time for a cute story.

The first time there I was with my mother and sister-in-law Holly. Holly and I were waiting for Mom to get done and there was this very well put together older lady in the cutest outfit. It was a pink skirt with white polka dots, with a pink suit jacket. I told her I loved her outfit five times until she heard me. Once she finally heard it her response to me was "I just love this temple!" I said something about how beautiful it was. She said "I think their getting ready for the melinium, don't you? The temple layout is so well done. The Boise's is crazy with so much back and forth, that this really felt like this one was made to make things go faster. I mentioned speed and then she told me: "I'm 96!" She was still walking on her own, still wearing makeup, still dressing well. I resounded with a "Wow, are you going to make it to 100?" "I wasn't planning on it" , she said. I told her "I think you should." And that was that. It was just the cutest little encounter, all because I complimented her on her dress. It was a wonderful day!

Reality and Fears

2011-09-14T17:08:00.000-07:00

There have been a few times when I've cried at work. Sometimes my clients notice, sometimes they don't. The sadness about my life can be overwhelming and I feel as though I screwed it up badly and it can't be fixed completely, but I don't know for sure. Here's why I feel this way.

The biggest reason is that I screed it up. It's my fault. I knew better, but I did wrong anyway. Jason and I were very intimate with each other before me got married. We didn't go 'all the way'. Our dating life consisted of movies, food and nakedness. We got some advice to marry rather than break my covenants. So we did. This is difficult for me because of 2 blessings I've had in the past, one being my patriarchal blessing that says this: A young man will come into your life to help you in the teachings of your children and through his love will help you develop some of your greater attributes. That's all it says about a man. I always thought it was a pretty good sentence. There's a whole paragraph about children. Two years before I got married I got a blessing from Jeff Thompson, my seminary teacher of 4 years, my friends father and his wife was my merry miss teacher and YW president. He gives amazing blessings that are often prophetic. This one that is 2.5 pages typed out single spaced (we always record them) said: "He(the Lord) will not allow you to fail in anyway; as long as you continue to work diligently to live the commandments to do those things that you have been placed here to do. ... You still have the opportunity to one day be sealed to a worthy husband".

To read about WHY we should stay morally clean before marriage read this- it's great!

I feel as if I failed, that I screwed up the plan. I know he knows the end from the beginning and perhaps this is part of the path, or that he knew what I'd do. The difficulty is knowing that the pains that I'm suffering now are due to my sins. There is so much that is tied to this, that I just don't know how to take any of those blessings any more. There are no men in my life that give those kinds of blessings anymore. I want one so badly. Some sort of message of sins forgiven or will be forgiven, that those things can still be achieved or if I ruined it. Some guidance and direction of what I should do, where I should head, what I should focus on.

I went to a few single adult activities recently and the ratios are terrible. One fireside had 25 women and 3 men. Another activity was more like 50 women and 12 men. There are women much prettier than me. They are thinner, have longer hair and their faces are pretty. will I ever have a chance to be married again? Doesn't look like it. It's depressing to think that I could possibly be single for the rest of my life, not ever be a mother and fulfill the measure of my creation.

I will need to find a way to support myself for the rest of my life. My family has helped me out so much, I don't know that I can say I've ever done it completely on my own. When mom is gone who will I call just to talk to, or go to for money when I'm desperately in need and can't do it myself? I can probably forget about traveling. I will have to find a way to be happy being single again, to find fulfillment in my life. I will be the single woman who most will think I never married, although I did and he still wants me. Will I regret leaving? Will there always be this feeling over my head of what I did, what I didn't do and how I screwed it up. How will feel about myself?

One other thing is the loss of friends. I left the area I've lived as a child/teenager for 10 years and then anther 10 as an adult, with about 10 in between the 2.

Often it's overwhelming and I beg for mercy, for help,and relief from the Master himself.

But all I can do is this:

Family: A Celebration

2011-09-09T09:22:00.000-07:00

Before I got married I was an ardent supporter of The Family: A Proclamation to the World. I had a strong desire to be married, to have a family and knew that was the right thing to do. I didn't have my own, but the principles taught therein were true and correct and the world needed them. I did not shy away from any talk or lesson or blog or anything that taught this.

But then I got married. I knew it was not right. It was not happy, not righteous, not at all what this proclamation spoke of, and so l left my marriage. Now I'm single again and do not know what will happen to me in the future. There is this sadness, a sense of failure to something I believed in and wanted. While the principles and doctrine are still true it's harder to hear and read about it and families and such. I'm still healing.

But there are 4 great women who are putting on a 2 week Celebration of Family and the Proclamation online in their blogs. I read 2 of them regularly, 1 of them occasionally, and the last one- today is my fist time. They are:

http://beinglds.blogspot.com/ We Talk of Christ, We Rejoice In Christ
http://www.theredheadedhostess.com
http://chocolateonmycranium.blogspot.com/
http://rovinroberts.blogspot.com/ Welcome to the Madness

Every day their posts will be about some aspect about the Proclamation. You might want to tune in! Printable, prizes, stories and lessons will all be apart of it!

While it's hard for me, not having a spouse or children. I still believe in it. I still know it's true. It's hard, but I will try and celebrate too.

New Job, so I'm not going !

2011-09-08T11:29:00.000-07:00

I got a job at Petco today as a assistant groomer. I'll be washing and brushing the dogs. In 3 to 6 months I can start training to be a groomer. With out this I'd have to go to school. It's about 32 hours a week. I'll be off every night at 6 and is in Nampa, next to the Costco, Target and across the freeway from Winco! Everyone seems nice there so far.

I'll try and make the 2 jobs work together, but I suspect that I will cut out some hours- hopefully the ones in Boise so it's less driving.

I've also made another decision. I will not be going to the "divorce care" group. Time is so precious and if you're not filling my bucket, forget it! I have other books to read, other people to be with that do fill my bucket. So, the book goes back and the money comes back too! I feel good about this. It makes the decision easier to tell them it's because of a job. I brought treats in last time, so I think that was a good send off!

Figured it Out

2011-09-07T21:05:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I've been attending a "divorce support" group. Well, it's a little different than what a true one probably is. This Nazarene church uses programs- christian videos and such. I went through "divorce recovery", which was 6 weeks. Today started "divorce care". No one but the instructor (I think she's paid) knows I'm LDS and not because I told her. Tonight I paid 8 dollars for a work book. I looked through it while the video was on and it's alright. I have been fluctuating about this class, should I go or bag it. The people are good, and what they are saying is good, but..... I couldn't put my finger on it before, but tonight afterwords in thinking about it I figured it out.

What they are teaching I've been getting every Sunday for my whole life. How to handle problems and a support system for doing so is already in place. I go to church for 3 hours, study the scriptures there where we all participate and think, not just listen to some one else expound. We are encouraged to read scriptures ourselves, to VT, to .... the list goes on. Think of it- what the prophets say, what the books say in RS, in Gospel doctrine, etc. Think of all the books we've been through all these years and the things we've gleamed. What they are offering me is not new to me at all. Besides the fact that marriage and divorce takes on a deeper meaning to us.

So I'm glad I figured it out. Will I keep going? I don't know. I'll take it week by week.

This is the book we'll be using.

Boundaries

2011-09-02T07:23:00.000-07:00

This picture says some of what I'm trying to explain here. In my pattern changing class we've talked about boundaries. I've read the home work a lot, made posters for my house and have been practicing them. It's helpful. It makes life easier. Here's the information I've places on my walls.

How to Maintain Personal Boundaries:
1. Ask directly for what you want.
2. Forster inner self-nurturance
3. Observe others behavior towards you and take it as information.
4. Maintain a bottom line (how many times you'll let______________ happen)
5. Change the locus of trust from others to oneself.

Do not waste time on injustices you have no control over. Focus on goals and forget the rest.
Control of another vs. Honor of another.
Clear boundaries = freedom.
The most important things to learn from this class are:
*The bill of rights
*Boundaries
*Assertiveness

No boundaries:
- act of out compliance and compromise.
- are manipulated by flattery so that you loose objectivity.
- commit yourself as long as the other needs you. (no bottom line)

All of this has helped a lot. I've not answered phone calls, told people other ways to get help besides me and it's made a difference in how I've felt.

I got this information from these books:

Five for Friday

2011-08-12T07:57:00.000-07:00

1. I am not doing that 31 days of reading proverbs. It's just not the right time for me and it's not doing anything for my spirit and that's important right now. There are other months with 31 days in it. This is what the Bible dictionary says about Proverbs.

There is much in it that does not rise above the plane of worldly wisdom, but throughout it is taken for granted that “the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom” (1:7; 9:10). The least spiritual of the Proverbs are valuable as reminding us that the voice of Divine Inspiration does not disdain to utter homely truths.

2. I'm reading The Book of Mormon instead. I'm looking for scriptures about the atonement specifically because of this quote and also about God the Father. Here are some other cool things I've found and how I'm looking at them.
A. The most important thing you can teach your children according to Elder Ballard is that they are children of God.

One day, years ago, I was at a seminary meeting where Elder Ballard was speaking to us – and he said something that I will never, ever forget. He said, “If my grandchild were in your classroom, there is one thing I would want to be certain that you taught them….” Now pause, for a moment – before he finished that statement, I remember being so impacted by it. He was making our classroom personal to someone that he cared deeply about, so I knew he was going to say something that I should heed. So, I was on the edge of my chair and ready to learn whatever he was going to say. He finished that sentence by saying, “I would want you to teach them that they are children of God.” (From this blog)

B. 1 Nephi 11:7 And I said unto him: I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things.

C. 1 Nephi 15:14 And at that day shall the remnant of our ^aseed ^bknow that they are of the house of Israel, and that they are the ^ccovenant people of the Lord; and then shall they know and ^dcome to the ^eknowledge of their forefathers, and also to the knowledge of the gospel of their Redeemer, which was ministered unto their fathers by him; wherefore, they shall come to the knowledge of their Redeemer and the very points of his doctrine, that they may know how to come unto him and be saved.

Knowing you are not just a child of God, but a covenant people of the Lord according to this scripture tells us 3 other important truths as well. They are 1. I know my past, my history. (not only the history of the children of Israel, but my history from the very beginning of time) 2. I know the gospel of my Redeemer. 3. I know how to come unto him and be saved!

Wow- that's a lot huh!

Do you see the progression? A few years ago I thought- so what I'm a child of God- so is everyone else- that doesn't make me special. But someone said to me- basically the message in that last scripture. You are a child of God who has been baptized, who has made covenants in the temple, who has access to the priesthood.

3. I am back to the job search for a job that will pay my bills. I'm only working 12 to 17 hours a week and only making 8.50 an hour. Not enough. I thought I had some good paying jobs just waiting for me, but they didn't come to pass, so I start again with a serious job search. Your prayers on my behalf would be appreciated.

4. FLEAS, FLEAS EVERYWHERE. I can't lay down in my bed, I can't sit down in my car with out being bit. Sadie, my sisters golden retriever got them from spending the night with me. No more dog sleep overs. If you know me, you know of my OCD behavior of scratching and picking my wounds. My legs are the ugliest they have ever been. I'm trying everything I possibly can- vinegar in the dogs water, garlic pills for me, cedar chips under the bed, bombing the house, borax in the carpet. Something has to work. Once I have the biting stopped and the wounds healed I can focus on putting fade cream on the scars. Maybe next summer I'll have nice legs, maybe, just maybe

5. I've been going to this divorce support group. We basically watch videos- a series of 6- from this Christian guy. I would rather spend my time talking than watching a video. It's in the basement of a Nazarene Church. Everyone in the group is Christian. No one knows I'm a Mormon. The videos are OK, the people in the group are really good people. I hear things about being saved, and laying on of hands, swear words, and prayers with Amen's, and yes in the middle from the one not voicing the prayer. We pray holding hands in a circle.

But my situation is so different and because of my beliefs it's different. (Marriage can be for eternity, is a gospel ordinance, I will only marry a temple recommend worthy Mormon so my choices are limited, I have no children and I may not have any.) Those things are a HUGE difference to what they are dealing with. They may have been married for 14 years or 8 years, or what ever and have children, and that is hugely painful, but the lack of the knowledge of eternity and the WHY of marriage makes it so different. I think about Ensign talks that the instructor should share with us. (I will give them to her) I think of reading stuff to make next time (if there is a next time) better. I think of how to say the things other say with gospel words, scripture words.

I tell you this because I don't know if I will continue. The next class will be "divorce care". I usually get something out of the class, but sometimes not. Maybe I will do a few classes and see if it helps with anything. My pattern changing class is telling me that I need to be number one, I need to take care of myself and to give myself a gift at least once a week. This divorce class is either good for me or it is taking up my time. These people do social things together on Friday nights, go camping, go the park after class and I just can't see myself really meshing with these people, really opening up and being me. I need LDS friends. While it's a good opportunity to share the gospel, and I'm not sure why I haven't shared my particular faith with them (No one else has), I guess because I'm afraid of trying to be "saved", convinced I'm wrong, shouldn't be there, etc. But I'm learning that I even have to be honest with the people in my ward that I'm divorced. It's making me who I am. It is who I am. I can't hide that, because I doing so I hide myself. So I will share, when the time is right with my ward who I really am and I will continue to think about and see if I will continue with this divorce christian group.

FINAL

2011-08-05T15:09:00.001-07:00

I am now just a single rose, but one is a whole number and
one rose is beautiful all on it's own.

Today the divorce became final. Judge Debra A. Orr pronounced it before 9:30 am. I think I will always remember her name. I texted Jason the news and he said back "love 2 U". There were no tears or happiness on my part. It just is. I exchanged one worry for another. I go back to praying for a temple marriage- I actually prayed for that while I was married too. But my friend Cindy from work back in Bellevue told me to pray for someone to cherish me that I can cherish too, and to ask myself, not how do I feel about the person I'm with, but how I feel about my self. She's a wise woman. She knows because she's been there.

I've been going to a divorce support group on Wed with other Christians in the basement of a Nazarene church in town. No one knows I'm LDS, but they will soon. We are all writing how God has helped us through this, sharing scriptures, prayers, music, friends or family. The scriptures I share will be from The Book of Mormon.

Two weeks ago I started going to a 14 week class called 'pattern changing'. So far both times I walked away realizing how battered I was. I was so stressed out about the class last night I needed to talk to someone. It's not a therapy group, but educational. I decided I need counseling the day after the class, not before or the day of.

Here are some things that I learned that spoke to me. It all spoke to me, but these were stronger than others.

From a paper called "self-Advocacy Strategies Questionnaire":

#8 If a decision will lead to either guilt or resentment, go with guilt! Because it is more likely I will be acting in my best interest rather than someone else's.

#23 When a woman says, 'i feel sorry for him,' she is making the other person's problem her problem. If I feel sorry for him, I'm suppose to do something about it. I should do something that he would like me to do (go back to him; stay in the relationship). This is faulty thinking! I may not like to see him suffer, but it may be contrary to my best interest to do something that reduces my guilt and alleviated his pain. I am not responsible for solving the problems that he caused and for which he needs to be held accountable. (Otherwise, he'll never learn and will continue to treat other women the way he treated me.) If I do something that he wants because I feel sorry for him, it means that I may be placing his wants and interests above my own (and my children's) best interest. I must act in my best interest.

I've already started to use this (not just the classes, but the whole experience: dating, marriage, and divorce) as a learning experience.

31 days 1 day late

2011-08-02T10:31:00.000-07:00

At my divorce support group the leader told us about reading the book of Proverbs in 31 days as it has 31 chapters and there are 31 days in August. I was thinking about this on July 31, but totally spaced it Aug 1st. I will read 2 chapters tonight to make up and hopefully will be able to really do it.

I've started reading The Book of Mormon again, with a new book- looking for verses and doctrines about the Atonement, because of this posted on my nephews blog and now on my quote blog:

There is an imperative need for each of us to strengthen our understanding of the significance of the Atonement of Jesus Christ so that it will become an unshakable foundation upon which to build our lives. As the world becomes more devoid of foundational standards and as honor, virtue, and purity are increasingly cast aside in the pursuit of appetite, our understanding of and faith in the Atonement of Jesus Christ will provide strength and capacity needed for a successful life. It will also bring confidence in times of trial and peace in moments of turmoil.
I energetically encourage you to establish a personal study plan to better understand and appreciate the incomparable, eternal, infinite consequences of Jesus Christ’s perfect fulfillment of His divinely appointed calling as our Savior and Redeemer. Profound personal pondering of the scriptures accompanied by searching, heartfelt prayer will fortify your understanding of and appreciation for His priceless Atonement. Another powerful way to learn of Jesus Christ and His Atonement is through consistent temple attendance.
http://lds.org/general-conference/2010/04/he-lives-all-glory-to-his-name?lang=eng

I'm also trying to keep on with the New Testament, but due to my depression it's hard. I like this sight to help, specifically Kevin Hinckleys power point presentations that are so masterfully done.

The House of Mom

2011-07-23T19:11:00.000-07:00

711 Ramsbrook St, Meridian Idaho
Mom's brand new, never been lived in, three bedroom house.
She's never been able to do any of these things before, so it's so exciting for her.
This is the first time she's been able to park her car in the garage!

After the long entryway that is now covered with family pictures
is the living room with brand new couch and 2 chairs.
These pictures were pre-curtains and wall hangings, but you get the idea.

Another one with Parker, who is just visiting.

Mom's totally cool bathroom and walk in closet. She's never had either of these!
Mom got a whole new bed set that is dark wood.

Again- pictures are before we hung things on the wall.
The first room off the living room and the windows in the front of the house is mom's sewing and computer room. It has lots of space! The second room and the first down the hall across from the bathroom that mom is decorating with light houses and beach stuff is the guest room with the TV and a few storage stuff. There is a walk in closet in the hall way too with lots of space!

The best part- the brand new everything kitchen and these
cool bar chairs that mom picked out her self. Very nice huh!

Tree Down

2011-07-18T11:11:00.001-07:00

Back on May 26 we had a rain storm complete with lightening and thunder. This tree in my neighbors yard came down in between us both. Here are the pictures.

It just missed the old clunker of a truck of the people who live above me. Lucky for them.
I like taking pictures of natures handiwork.

Back to Green!

2011-07-14T20:10:00.001-07:00

Cindy and Mike let me go camping with them, Amber and Sadie the dog the weekend before the 4th of July. We drove about 2 hours up to McCall Idaho, cute tourist town and near Ponderosa State Park.

Check out this double circle rainbow around the sun! Amazing!

This is Sadie the 12 year old Golden Retriever sitting outside the "don't get me bugs" eating tent. Cindy and Amber are inside! This was my first time camping with a dog and made me realize that with all the people walking by with or with out their dogs Coco wouldn't do well. He'd bother everyone with his barking. We did take Sadie swimming for a short while in the Payette Lake

Mike, the grill master. We had Hobo dinners. Ya know- meat, potatoes, carrots, and unions in tin foil. Yummy!

This little brand new beauty is why we had to go. It was just purchased a few days before we left and fit all 4 of us. Funny shape huh. But it has a bathroom, shower, stove, over, microwave, TV and DVD player too. I was not for the TV and DVD player- that's not camping.
But the rest was nice!

Amber was modeling it for me!

This is on the shores of McCall. We went into a few small shops- a rock shop that was amazing, a glass shop with FUNNY sayings too.

Do you see the green trees, and the blue sky, and the mountains with snow on top and the lake. It was like being home for a while!
Lots of deep breaths!

What the books say about the BIG D!

2011-07-12T11:48:00.001-07:00

I picked up a book entitled The Divorce Recovery Source-book.
Here are somethings that it said in just the first chapter.

Divorce is a savage emotional journey in which you ricochet between failure of the past and the uncertainty of the future, all the while struggling to understand what went wrong and to apportion blame.

Some experts believe that the emotional impact of divorce is greater than that of a spouse's death. Death is final, but divorce leaves people feeling not only with feelings of loss, but often hurt, resentment, jealousy, and blame as well. Widow's don't have to face the ambivalence and sense of failure brought about by divorce.

People who have enduring a divorce emphasize the importance of understanding the life will never be the same. Divorce is both the death of an old relationship and old dreams, and the beginning of a new life full of exhilarating possibilities. (or in my case, scary possibilities)

Psychologist note that a person facing a d always feels at some point like a failure. Not surprisingly , emotional turbulence and wild mood swings are normal during this time. Emotional turmoil, while fare from pleasant is normal and necessary and must be experienced in order to complete the psychological process of separation from the old life and former mate.

Starting over requires letting go of the past, a task which is both an art and a a skill. It goes not good to try to force painful feelings to go away. All professionally who work with those recovering from a D stress the importance of facing the lass and talking time ot feel and work through the grief.

Problems in their professional and financial lives are often rooted in what one counselor terms the "divorce hangover". she describes this state as a crippling condition characterized by persistent feelings of pain, anger, anxiety or depression, which keeps on from living fully in the present and moving forward into the future. D hangover is a network of strong emotions that keep you connected to your ex-spouse and stuck in the past. Hence the importance of achieving closure after a d.

Many who D feel uncertain about their very identities. People are not sure who or what they are once such a powerful role in life has been eliminated.

4 Emotions need to be worked on: Anger, sadness, fear, and sorrow.

When anger is suppressed, sadness can turn into self-pity leaving a person feeling victimized, guilty and stuck in the misery of the past. When anger takes over other feelings, it can be difficult to feel compassion toward others and grieve for your self. Once an angry person is able to face and feel her sadness, she can let go of anger and forgive. Psychologists stress, however that it is important for everyone to connect with and accept the anger that follows a divorce, since suppressed anger will surface eventually and often does so in destructive ways.

Emotional pain is a healer and a teacher that moves people to take action to make necessary change in their lives. Even those who are certain that the end of the marriage was a positive change often feel a great deal of misery and doubt. Many find it difficult to admit to and face feelings of sorrow. Denial is a common reaction to the anguish that persists after a dovorce. Men especially,may tend to suppress or try to minimize the pain of D, because males are trained in our society not to show, or even to allow themselves to feel emotions that indicated vulnerability. It is crucial to allow one's feeling to progress and to undergo the legitimate suffering that follows a painful, life changing even.

Suppressing negative emotions leads to numbness and the inability to full experience the positive feelings that make life rich and full.

Welcome to my new home!

2011-07-09T11:20:00.000-07:00

Parker and Coco sitting out side on our driveway enjoying the weather.
Pull in, there are a lot of room for cars.

The gate that keeps the dogs in during the day while I'm gone. Enter here.

The entry way to our down stair basement apartment place. Coco brought this dog bed out.
We call it his 'mommy' cause he nurses on it. As you can see this is a perfect place for the dogs.
They have shelter when it's hot and when it's cold.

Through the door and the kitchen is to your right. The place got new stove, dishwasher and fridge and carpet just days before I moved in.

This is my dinning area, usually filled with papers. There is nothing dividing this from the living room, so I put up the quilt to make it seem like a different place.

This is my living room. I inherited this sectional from mom. My pet rats from a few years ago would crawl all over it and chewed parts of the ribbing, so mom didn't want it anymore. I got new pillows to bring some color to the place.

Another view of the living room. To the left is a closet with a washer and dryer hook up, but I use it for food storage. I go to my mom's to visit and do laundry.
The place has 3 bedroom. One that is mine and 2 that are filled with shelves and boxes.
It's been a great place for the dogs and I. When Mike drove me around looking for place to live, we ran into this one accidentally. He said he felt really good about this one. I was to numb at the time to feel anything. I was thinking why 3 bedrooms. But now I know.
Parker for the first time in almost 5 years I've had him as scratched at the door or barked to go outside. He would NEVER do that before.
I leave the door open when I'm home so they can go in and out when they want. I get flies in, but little black flying things is the least of my worries!